Escape
by queenofallthingsrandom
Summary: Naruto attempts suicide. "He smiled softly, and, for once, it was a true, genuine smile. It was time to close his eyes and sleep. Nothing would ever bother him again." Warning: This story involves(Obviously) attempted suicide, past abuse, and (possible) yaoi. No likey, no ready.
1. I'm Sorry

Author's note: This is a very angst filled oneshot. I may change it and make it so he lives, but that's only if people want me to.

I own nothing.

* * *

 _To Whatever Person That Finds This Thing,_

 _I'm sorry for this. I know it's probably the most selfish decision someone can make: to be given an opportunity to life and just give it up. I just don't see any point in living anymore. If you're actually reading this, than I guess I should give you a reason that at least slightly justifies it._

 _It started about twelve years ago, when I was born. My parents… well, I never knew them. Apparently, they died. I don't think I want to know who they were. I'd probably just be bitter. They died on the night that the Kyuubi, also known as the nine tailed demon fox, attacked our village, which also happened to be the day I was born. I guess I should've thought there was something wrong with that, but I was a little distracted by the people in my village._

 _There were some horrible, terrible experiences that I don't really feel like writing about. All I'm going to say is, I barely survived all of the abuse, mental and physical. By the end of it, I almost wanted to do what I've gone and done to myself now. The hokage was there for me, though, and he was kind to me even though everyone else seemed to think I was some monster. After seeing someone so patient and kind, I couldn't help but want to grow up and be like him. I made it my dream to be hokage, so that one day I could be like the man who saved me._

 _When I entered the Ninja Academy, I expected all of the ridicule I got. I wasn't ever taught correctly, and the teachers tried there hardest to make me fail in some twisted attempt to prevent me from getting stronger. In the end, I was made a genin after a… rather unfortunate event. One of the teachers, Mizuki, got me to steal an important scroll. He was planning on taking it from me and killing me. Iruka, another one of my teachers, was there to help me; however, he couldn't spare me from the truth. I found out that the demon who killed Iruka's parents and attacked Konoha was sealed in me. The hokage knew about it and kept it a secret from me. I trusted him. That brought me down a lot, but I pushed myself forward._

 _I somehow passed and was put on a team with someone who considered his revenge to be more important than anything and anyone else, a little girl who was too obsessed with someone who could never love her back to make herself stronger, and a sensei who was too detached from us to be called a part of the pathetic team. I know it may seem ungrateful of me to think this way about my teammates, but I'm tired of all of this. I've been very, very tired for way too long. I didn't have the energy to try and help these people. After our first_ actual _mission, I was dead inside. I'd finally found someone who was like me, and he was dead. Haku was dead. He wanted to die because he felt that he had no purpose left, if he couldn't be of use of Zabuza. I think that seeing him die is what finally did it._

 _My entire life has been full of nothing good, and I don't want to keep going. I know I should be holding on and waiting for someone to make things better for me, but it's getting ridiculous. I've been through 12 years of hell, and I don't know if I could et through it again. I feel bad for Kyuubi, though… This will kill him, too. The attack wasn't his fault, but I guess that doesn't really matter to you people._

 _I could just wait for someone to actually accept me, and help me, but I don't think I want to, anymore. To anyone who would've helped, I feel bad for this._

 _Iruka, this wasn't your fault, and I'm sorry for what happened to your parents, but I don't want you to blame Kyuubi. It's not his fault._

 _Jiji… Thank you, and I'm sorry._

 _Konohamaru, I pray to god you won't take this too hard. I'm sorry. Keep working towards your dream, kid. You'll get there one day._

 _Everyone else, I didn't know you, and you didn't know me. We might've known each other's names, but you didn't know anything about me. Whether you could tell that I was upset and just ignored it or you really didn't notice, I'd rather not know. If any of you wanted to help me, I appreciate the effort, but it was wasted. I want to rest, so leave me be._

 _-Naruto Uzumaki_

This note was found on the floor in an otherwise empty apartment. The one reading the note dropped it after reading the first paragraph. He froze right where he was and stared at the note like it had just tried to kill him.

"What is it, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, trying to sound sweet. Kakashi walked forward and picked up the note, eyes widening as he read over it's contents.

"Sakura, take this to the hokage. Sasuke, help me search for Naruto." He ordered, looking a little paler than usual.

* * *

Far away, bright blue eyes were slowly fading to gray. He smiled softly, and, for once, it was a true, genuine smile. It was time to close his eyes and sleep. Nothing would ever bother him again.

 _I'm sorry, Kyuubi._ His last thoughts slowly faded away as he fell into his long awaited eternal rest. Glowing red and purple eyes watched as the boy took his last breath. _You idiot_ _…_

* * *

Now, this can either be the end, even though it'll be annoying, or you people can tell me that you want more. Don't let Naruto die, people!

Song of the day: The Boxer Mumford & Sons version. It was originally sung by Simon & Garfunkel, but… I like Mumford better.


	2. What You've Done

Author's note: Well… This story got a lot of attention overnight. I just woke up and decided, 'I think I'll see if anyone read my latest fic.' They did. THANK YOU!

Thank you to **steel lord,** who reviewed right after I posted the story, **Tobee,** with whom it was ok to kill Naruto off 0.0, **PerdidoKitsune,** who reviewed on another one of my stories ^_^ and who really, really hates Sasuke…, **alphex97** who *smirks* doesn't know about my diabolical plan for this story, **yue14121990,** who is probably more obsessed with yaoi than I am, and **gvargas132 ,** who I really hope will not hate what I wrote. Also, a special thanks goes out to **narutorasatard,** who helped me write this chapter faster.

If you've followed/favorited this, or even read it, thanks! I don't know why I'm thanking so many people…

I own nothing except for the plot and maybe pocky, but you can't have any.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

This can't be happening. It's just not right. Kakashi and I found Naruto in the Forest of Death. His wrists were slit and slowly healing, and there was a strange man with him.

 _Flashback In Sasuke POV_

 _I could see Naruto up ahead._

 _I was almost with him, until an arm reached out and stopped me. It was Kakashi. He pointed to the redheaded man kneeling by Naruto's side._

 _"Stay back. If you come near this kid, I will kill you." He said, turning his gaze to meet mine and Kakashi's_

 _"Who are you? You're definitely not a Konoha_ _nin." Kakashi asked._

 _"I'm none of your concern." He growled out, picking Naruto up and walking away._

 _"Where are you taking him?" I asked._

 _"First, I'm taking him to your precious hokage, and then, when he's completely healed, I'm taking him far away from here." With that, the stranger disappeared, taking Naruto with him._

 _Flashback end._

The hokage told us that Naruto was safe, but we couldn't see him. It doesn't make any sense. He tried to kill himself. He gave up on everything and succumbed to his weakness. I never thought that Naruto, of all people, would be like this. I need to help him get stronger. I risked my life to try and save him, and then that idiot tries to off himself.

* * *

(Naruto POV)

I couldn't feel anything. I was completely and totally numb, and I have never been happier. There wasn't any pain, only freedom. It had to be heaven.

I could hear a strange noise that was really bothering me. It was a loud beeping noise that was rhythmic and slow. It sounded almost like… a heartbeat. There was another noise, too. it was a voice.

 **"Why couldn't you have just held on? If I hadn't helped you… You would've died."**

Would've? I'm alive? The numb feeling disappeared completely. Someone helped me. I was still alive, and I was in some hospital. Damn it. Why did it happen? I just wanted to disappear. Now everyone's going to know… everything. Someone was bound to have found the note by now. I don't want them to know. I just want it to all go away.

 **"You're the dumbest human being on this planet, kit. If you don't wake up, I will kill you."**

I know that voice.

My eyes shot open and I jumped up in the hospital bed. There was a man by my side, and I knew instantly who it was.

"Kyuubi."

He had a human form with long copper colored hair and ebony skin. His eyes were deep red with a ring of purple at the center.

"What, brat?"

"You helped me. Why?" I trailed off.

"Why'd I stop you from killing yourself? Gee, I don't know, maybe because _I want to live._ Also, you're not the worst human I've ever met. It's mostly because of my survival, though. "

"How are you human?" I asked, confused beyond belief.

"Long story short, I had give up all of my demon abilities to keep you alive. So now, I'm trapped in this ridiculous form."

"You gave up your powers?"

"Yeah. Don't try anything like that again. It would be a waste of my powers. More importantly, I'm stuck. The one time I try to be kind to humans and I end up powerless and stuck as one of them. I wonder what that tells me…"

"Why would you do that? I didn't want help."

"No, but you needed it. Don't pretend like you didn't. Now, I'm going to tell the hokage that you're awake. You can try to escape, but there's a guard outside, and everything in this room has been idiot-proofed, so you can't hurt yourself. You're also super hyped up on drugs and anesthetics, so you'll have trouble with things like standing, walking, and seeing right. I'll be back in a minute." He said with a smirk before closing the door.

He gave up his powers… to save the life of someone who wants to die. Where is the logic in that? He saved me. He actually put in the effort and sacrificed something important. Maybe I don't have to wait any longer…

I really don't want to talk to the old man about this. I think I might just go back to sleep. I don't think I would be able to stand seeing the look in his eyes…

* * *

(Sakura POV)

Naruto tried to kill himself. That moron! Everyone's so worried about him, and I don't like what this is doing to Sasuke. He's been trying to see Naruto for days now, and it's possessing him. I think Naruto just did this for attention. If he really wanted to die, he could've succeeded. Instead, he's taking all of Sasuke's attention. It's not fair, and then the freak just ignores us!

All of the rookies have actually been affected by this, somehow. No one's really seen Hinata sine it happened, Kiba's freaked out that he didn't see anything wrong with someone who's normally so happy, Shikamaru is upset with himself because he never tried to help Naruto, Ino still seems to be in shock, Shino actually seems to be something other than indifferent, and Choji has't eaten in days. Naruto doesn't realize what he's done. It's not fair for him to let his so called friends suffer like this. We're not allowed to see Naruto, for some reason, and we haven't been updated on his current condition.

Sasuke isn't spacing to anyone, now. Naruto is such an idiot.

* * *

Author's note: I hope I haven't lost any readers with this chapter, but I really wanted to write this. I'm pretty happy with it.

Here's the quote of the day:

"You don't need a license to drive a sandwich." -Spongebob Squarepants Movie

I think that I already used that quote… oh, well. Review, follow, and favorite! Reading my other stories wouldn't kill you, either. Seriously, I eat reviews. They give me the energy to type faster. Feed me.


	3. Pent Up

Author's note: More people reviewed! I guess I'll update again. To **yue14121990,** **gvargas132 and** **steel lord,** who reviewed again ^_^, **Randomly talented,** who helped me decide on whether or not I wanted to make this KyuuNaru, and to all of the people who followed/favorited this fic, THANK YOU! You people are giving this story so much attention, and it's awesome. Tell me if there's anything you want me to make happen in this story, and I'll try to fit it in. If you peoplewant this to be KyuuNaru, or if you really don't, please put it in a review or PM me because I'm still not entirely sure about my decision on that.

I also think that I made Naruto a little OOC in the last chapter with his whininess. I mean, it's reasonable for him to be that way after a suicide attempt, but… I don't know. I'll try to fix it in this chapter.

I own nothing.

* * *

 _(Naruto POV)_

 _I was running as fast as I could away from the crowd of people. I ducked into an alleyway and leaned back against the wall. When I thought everyone had run past me, I looked around the corner. The coast seemed clear. I took a few hesitant steps out into the open, only to be grabbed and slammed back up against the wall. It was one of the villagers. I wasn't careful enough, and now I'm in for another night of painful torture He lifted me up, scraping my back against the wall, and leaned forward to whisper into my ear._

 _"I'm going to make you pay for what you did to my village."_

I woke with a start, breathing heavily and immediately noting the pair of eyes watching my every move.

I groaned.

"Hey, old man."

He remained silent, just looking at me like he was disappointed; like I'd let him down.

"Are you gonna say anything or are you just gonna sit there?"

"It disturbs me, knowing that you would hide all of your troubles. Was it worth it? To wait until the weight of your sorrow drove you to this?" He sounded upset.

"It doesn't matter now, anyway. I survived. Besides, I never wanted to tell any of you. No one would've actually done anything. It's not like I have anyone that I can actually depend on."

"Stop it! You're going to drown in all of your self pity! Quit pretending that you're alone. You have friends who care about you! You have a team!"

"I don't know who you think you're talking about, but it's not me. If by friends, you mean the other rookies, than you're sorely mistaken. They barely know me, but they hate me anyway! As for my team, they barely consider me a part of it. My sensei's never even pretended to show an interest in teaching me. If I didn't happen to be with the other two when he taught them, I doubt that I would've ever learned anything. Sasuke hasn't ever wanted anything other than revenge, so even if I did talk to him, it wouldn't matter to him. Sakura doesn't care about anyone but herself and Sasuke. If I told her about my issues, it wouldn't even cross her mind that I need someone, anyone, to be there for me. She would pretend to care for a few days, but she wouldn't actually give a damn about what happened to me. I bet my death would actually make her happy. She would use my death to get closer to Sasuke. None of my 'beloved team members' would think twice about my death unless they remembered how inconvenient it was. There wouldn't have even been a point in trying to get better! I wouldn't have had anyone to better myself for." I ranted. He stared at me, taking in what I'd said.

"Even if what you're saying about your fellow ninja is true, and I highly doubt it, you have other people! What about your old sensei, Iruka?"

"He hates the nine tailed fox. Even if he could get over the fact that some genius decided to seal it in me, and the only reason he would have to get over me being connected to Kyuubi is his past, it wouldn't be because of me. I don't want him to like me because I remind him of his childhood, I want him to actually know me."

"How about me? I've always been here for you, Naruto."

"I really hate to say this. I do. I know that you didn't mean for things to be like this, but it's how they are. You might've been consistently there in my life, but you kept everything from me. You kept the fact that I had the nine tails sealed inside of me a secret, and let me believe it was me that everyone hated. It was supposed to stay a secret from me forever, so I'm really glad that someone tried to kill me and told me the secret in the process. You lied to me about my heritage as well. You still haven't told me who my parents are, and I can tell that you knew them. I still don't know if there's more you haven't told me. I can't just get over all of the things you've tried to hide from me. I trusted you before, and you hid the things that you knew _about me._ I don't think I'll be able to trust you after that."

He flinched back a bit and looked away.

"I was trying to protect you."

I couldn't hep it. I laughed, and I couldn't stop. When I finally managed to breath again, I looked up and saw a very confused hokage. It made me laugh harder. After what felt like forever, my uncontrollable laughing died down.

"You have no idea how horribly you failed, then. It doesn't matter what you were trying to do, it's my life!(Heh. Bon Jovi.) It was my right to know, and they're not your secrets to keep! You tried to hide who _I_ was from _me_ , and you're still doing it! Do you have any idea how impossible life is knowing that you have no one? I don't even know who my parents are! I tried to hold on. I stayed strong for _12 years,_ and I just got tired of it. I got tired of waiting for my happiness, and god knows I haven't found it. I know that you think you could've saved me from this, oh great and powerful hokage, but I wouldn't trust a thing you say anymore. I looked up to you, wanted to grow up to be like you, only because of the kindness you showed me. I still respect that, but your judgement never ceases to anger me." I was being harsh, and it wasn't necessary, but this conversation was making me mad.

I know that there's nothing that I can do to change what's already happened, and that hating him will achieve nothing, but I'm still going to be angry. It'll let me vent, which I desperately need.

He had the decency to look down.

"Now, I need some time to myself, and I'm sure that you have more important things to tend to, so leave me alone."

He stood and walked towards the door. When he pulled it open, there was a copper-haired man leaning against where the door was a second earlier.

"Oh. Hey. I was… just about to knock."

The hokage walked past him wordlessly, leaving me to glare at Kyuubi.

"How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"All of it."

* * *

(Kakashi POV)

It's our fault. We did this to him. If only we'd paid more attention to him. A ninja is supposed to notice everything, and always see underneath the underneath, yet none of us, his supposed friends, saw how upset he was. Now, he's tried to end his life. It's funny. I've let this happen to two different people, now. If that man hadn't arrived before us, we would've been too late.

And the things in the note….

"Kakashi!" It was Sakura. She's walking towards me with Sasuke."Have you heard anything about Naruto's condition?"

"Yeah. He should be getting out tomorrow, but his mental state might not heal for quite some time. After this… unfortunate incident… he needs our support."

"Don't try to sugar coat this. He tried to kill himself, and I hardly thinks he wants us anywhere near him." Sakura mumbled, latching onto Sasuke's arm. He pushed her off.

"No, now is the time where we need to show him that we care about him." I said.

"Why? He's made it clear that we don't matter to him. I say we just forget him." It was Sakura again.

"Shut your mouth." Sasuke whispered, before turning and sprinting away from us.

* * *

Author's note: I know. I made Sasuke not terrible. It's totally different from the anime. I also made Sakura a bit OOC… but I don't like her(like the rest of the fan base)! I apologize for how short this chapter is. It will be longer next time. I hope that I didn't lose any readers, but this is all part of the plot. Bear with me, loyal readers!

Anyway, song of the day: "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley. It's so fabulous.


	4. What Happened To You

Author's note: You people review unbelievably fast. Thank you so much for your support! I want to say, to the guests who are reviewing, you're awesome. Also, to the people who reviewed on chapter 3, **thor94, NarutoKushina, Randomly Talented, and idrk what to put,** you guys are why this chapter is up so quickly. As I've said before, I eat reviews and attention. I need them to type fast, or else the chapters might take weeks to come. Please tell me whether you want this to be KyuuNaru, SasuNaru, no pairing, or some other random pairing.

So far, there are only a few votes, probably because I haven't been telling you guys to vote… Oh, well.

KyuuNaru- 1 vote

no pairing/ Kyuubi as a father figure- 1 vote

SasuNaru- 1 vote

No one's requested any other pairings, but I'm open to them.

I own nothing, and I want to say thanks to **Randomly Talented,** again, because they talked to me while I was writing the last chapter and kept me from falling asleep on my computer.

* * *

(Naruto POV)

"How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"All of it."

He didn't say anything after that. There was no lecture, no attempt at comfort, and no heartfelt speeches. He wouldn't even look up at me. An hour of silence must have passed before I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why won't you say anything?!" I couldn't stop by outburst.

"So, how does it feel?" His voice was calm, but he was staring intently at me, waiting for an answer.

"How does what feel?"

"The bit you wrote, with 'I should be holding on, and waiting for someone to make things better…'? I'd like to say that I made things better. You're still alive, and now you're not hiding the way you feel from people. So, how does it feel?"

My eyes widened a little, but I stayed silent.

"I've gotta say, I don't know what happened to you… honestly, I used to respect you. You gave humans a good name by never giving up. If someone called you weak, you would prove them wrong or die trying. No matter what anyone did to you, you would always stay strong and survive. Now, because someone you knew for, like, a week died, you're just gonna give up. I honestly thought that you would've lasted a little longer." Amusement glittered in his eyes. I still couldn't say anything.

"I think the reason his death upset you so much was because he reminded you of yourself. When he told you that he wanted to die, it got inside your head because you saw yourself in him and started questioning your purpose here. After all, it's not like anyone needed you. Some of them would tolerate you, sure, but what was your actual purpose?"

"Kyuubi, I really don't want to go into this right now." I found my voice.

"I don't care! What if I hadn't wanted to be sealed away without so much as a physical form? Looks like neither one of us is getting what we want. You're going to talk this entire thing through with me."

"I can't."

"It needs to happen, though. You can't run from this forever just because you don't want to talk things out with someone. Now, stop acting like a child and tell me what was going through your head when you decided that life was too horrible to bear _."_

"You already know what I was thinking, you were there."

"Yes, I was. You still need to say it out loud, though. It will help you, so stop stalling and talk!"

* * *

(Sarutobi POV)

Naruto… I don't want to believe any of this. I'm beginning to regret my decision to keep things a secret from him. If I'd known what it would cause…

No. I kept his heritage as well as the fact that he's a jinchuuriki a secret for good reason. If his heritage was known, even by only a few people, it would've been dangerous. There would've been assassins waiting in line to try and kill the fourth's son! If Naruto had known about the nine tails, he might've tried to take its power and lost control. It could've needed with Konoha once again under attack from the demon fox.

I would do it all again, if I knew that the consequences wouldn't be so dire. Nothing can be changed, now, though, so all I can do is try to help Naruto heal. He is an important asset to Konoha. The only problem is that man who was with him. I've never seen him in Konoha before, yet he seems so familiar. I'll need to find out more about him.

* * *

(Kyuubi POV)

He sighed and looked away. This is getting ridiculous. The kid's acting like telling me anything will kill him. I was about to yell at him again when he looked back at me.

"You know about what happened to me in this village. You saw it all, and I refuse to relive that right now. I've never had anyone even remotely _like_ me unless they had some obligation to. I know that that's not any reason to do what I did, but, as you said, I can't find my purpose. I don't have anyone to live for, and even if I did become hokage, what then? I rule alone over a village full of people that want me dead? It sounds like a horrible existence. As sad as it is, I would rather die. It's too much for me to handle, and, If I can't stand it now, there's no way I'd be able to live the rest of my life like this."

Great. They broke him.

"You do realize that this means you've finally let it get to you? You're giving them exactly what they want. Besides, your whole 'forever alone' thing is ridiculous. How do you know with one hundred percent certainty that you won't ever find someone who's not like the people in this village?"

"I don't. I just can't hold on for that long."

"Yes, you can. This is why I despise humans. They just give up when things get hard. You were different, but now they've made you just like them. I swear to god, if you keep thinking like this…" I left the threat hanging, before getting up and walking out the door. I can't stand to see him this way. I need to get through to the brat. There's only one reason he'd ever help himself out of this…

I ran out of the hospital and into an almost empty back street of the village.

"Hey!" A voice called behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the one person I couldn't be caught by: Sasuke Uchiha.

"It _is_ you! Who are you and what do you want with Naruto?!"

I started running, and he, of course, chased after me.

(Sasuke POV)

That's the bastard who wouldn't let us anywhere near Naruto! He came from the direction of the hospital. Was he with Naruto?

He was still running away from me, and I was falling behind. I needed to act, and fast.

I threw six shrunken at him, two aimed at his back and head, two aimed at slightly to the left of him under the shadow shuriken technique, one on the right next to his head, and one aimed about a foot above him. Moving in any direction would be difficult, and moving out of the way was an impossibility. He would have to dodge them. He would most likely jump to the left, seeing as it appears to be the easiest to dodge, and the shadow shrunken would get him.

Just as I predicted, he jumped to the left and dodged the first shuriken. Just as the second one would've embedded itself in his , he turned around and caught it.

"What do you want?" He growled out.

"You've seen Naruto, haven't you?"

"Why should it matter to you?"

"So that's a yes. Take me to him!"

"You're not allowed to speak to him. Even if I wanted to do anything for _you,_ I couldn't."

"Why have you seen him when I, his _teammate,_ haven't been _allowed_ anywhere near him?" I was yelling.

"I don't really care to give an answer for that. Now, if you're done playing childish games, I have someone I need to see. Am I free to go?" He asked mockingly as he turned to walk away from me.

I didn't answer, and, instead, decided that it was time to have a talk with the hokage.

* * *

(Naruto POV)

 _When I finally made it to the bridge, Kakashi was already fighting Zabuza, and Sasuke was nowhere to be found. I charged into the group of ice mirrors, and I found Sasuke lying on the ground._

 _I cautiously walked over to him, saw the needles sticking out from all over his body. He didn't have a pulse._

 _"Naruto." He knew my name, and I recognized his voice._

 _It was the boy who'd 'killed' Zabuza before, but something else about him was familiar, and it stopped me form attacking. He was in one of the mirrors, slowly pulling his mask off. Before pulling it off completely, he stepped out of the mirror, letting the mask fall to the floor._

 _"Haku?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Did you kill Sasuke?"_

 _"No. I just paralyzed him. Don't worry, your friend is fine. I was going to kill him, i was supposed to, but… I remembered what you said to me that morning… which leads me to this: I need you to do something for me."_

 _"What is it?"_

 _We were supposed to be enemies, but I'm not entirely sure who's side I'm on if Haku's supposed to be my enemy. I should at least hear what he has to say._

 _"I want you to kill me."_

I woke up after 'hearing' those words. This was different from my usual nightmares; it was about _that_ day. I think that I preferred the nightmares of this village.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

"I demand to see Naruto!" I slammed my hands down on the hokage's desk for emphasis.

He just took a deep breath in, unaffected by my outburst.

"As I said before, Naruto is going through something, and he needs his space. While he needs comfort and support, he also needs space and time. You can talk to him tomorrow, with everyone else."

"If you're telling the truth, than why did you let a stranger visit him?" I could barely stop myself from screaming at him.

"That 'stranger' is apparently very close to Naruto, and he is the one who saved the boy. You can wait one more day, Sasuke."

I stormed out of his office and walked all the way home. One more damn day.

* * *

Author's note: You guys need to tell me if this chapter sucked, criticism is ok. I sort just typed whatever I could think of without making everyone extremely OOC. They still didn't act like themselves, but it could've been worse. Vote on the pairing and this story will move a whole lot faster.

Quote of the day: " 'There aren't many words that rhyme with yang, shawn. I guess there's bang, meringue, wang. Yeah. I like wang.' 'What?' 'No, I didn't mean it like that!' "

-Psych, again. It's an amazing show. Please review, favorite, and follow. I eat attention. Check out my other stories, too! Pretty please!


	5. Puzzle Pieces

Author's note: I don't feel like going to bed, so I guess I'll just update again! More people reviewed: **gvargas132,** I'm actually working on the other (sort of) harem fic for Naruto now, **Marina-Elise,** I'm sorry about what happened, and this fic might not portray things as accurately as they could be because of my comfort zones, **naruhinakiralacus,** thank you for giving me another pairing, **TigerzzTail,** who gave me a TON of ideas for this story, and **Randomly Talented,** whois awesome enough to keep reviewing and getting me to post faster. I've never really written NaruHina, or really any straight fics *Blushes*, so it could be interesting. As for votes for pairings go, here's where things stand:

NaruHina: 1

SasuNaru: 2

KyuuNaru: 3

ShikaNaru: 1

KakaNaru: 1

Brotherly relationship(s)/no pairing: 2

 **gvargas132** sorta voted for SasuNaru, KyuuNaru, and ShikaNaru, but I'm including it because they were fun.

I own nothing.

* * *

(Shikamaru POV)

Today, I was called for some incredibly important meeting in the hokage's office, and I can already tell that this has to do with Naruto.

Ever since the incident, I haven't been able to think straight. It wasn't the fact that he almost died; people die all the time. No, it was the fact that Naruto _wanted_ it to happen. It wasn't like he was injured fighting, he left a note. He couldn't find a reason to keep on living, and I never saw any of it. I couldn't see that he was upset. There were moments when I saw his smile falter, but I didn't really think anything of it.

When I got inside the office, I saw all of the other rookies, along with Kakashi, here. Iruka came in behind me, looking like he hadn't slept in days. All of these people knew Naruto, so this definitely had to do with him.

"Lord Hokage, why exactly where we called here?" Kakashi finally spoke.

"I'll explain everything in a moment."

That was all that he said before letting the room fall into silence. A few anxious moments later, the door opened, and Naruto walked in. He wasn't wearing the usual orange jumpsuit. Instead, he was wearing a black t-shirt with black sweatpants and black shin obi sandals. He didn't look like Naruto, and he was completely and totally silent. It just seemed wrong.

"I've called you all here to talk with Naruto. As much as he may not want to, he has to tell you all why he did this." He sounded like he was talking to Naruto rather than us.

"I don't understand your logic. What can I say that I didn't put in the note?" Naruto muttered quietly, not even _sounding_ like himself. The Sandaime sighed.

"You can say it to their faces. I won't allow you to leave until you've _actually_ talked to them."

Neither one of them said anything after that.

"Hey, Naruto, do you want that date after this?" That was Sakura, probably trying to get him to talk.

"No." Ah, a one word answer. Just fantastic.

"What, Why not?" Sakura practically screamed, probably shocked that he wouldn't jump up and beg for the date.

"Because everyone knows that you'd rather be with your precious 'Sasuke-kun', and I don't want to be your second choice."

Sakura gaped at him.

Ino tried next. "Come on, talk to us. I know that you're upset, but keeping it all to yourself won't help anything."

"I haven't kept anything to myself, I wrote a note, and I talked to someone else about how I fell. I haven't kept it to myself, only hid things from you. Before you say anything else, answer me this; Would you even speak to me if it I hadn't done this?"

She didn't answer.

"So, why should that change now? It's not like you can help me, I barely know you. Again, I WROTE ALL OF THIS DOWN, so I don't see why you feel the need to have me say it all again." He sat down in the chair in front of the hokage's desk.

"Naruto, this isn't right. I know that things obviously haven't been going well for you, but you can't take it out on us, especially when we're trying to help you." I finally spoke up.

"If the hokage insists on calling me here right after I was discharged from the hospital, then I'll do what I damn well please. Besides, I'm not 'taking it out' on you, I'm merely stating the facts. I apologize if it bothers you, I really do, because you've shown me acceptance that I haven't felt for a long time." The hokage stiffened when Naruto said this.

"What, you thought we'd start hating you because of your depression?" Kiba asked. The hokage looked away just as Naruto turned to glare at him.

"They still don't know?" His voice was quiet, but it was threatening.

"When I received the note, the people who didn't already know had yet to read it's contents all the way through. I covered the sections that mentioned it so that they couldn't see. It's a secret that you need to tell them yourself, not through a note."

Naruto stood up and started pacing. He actually seemed… nervous?

Finally, he turned to us, looking very scared.

"The nine tailed fox never died." He paused and looked at all of our faces, and I started figuring things out then.

"Yes, it did. The fourth hokage died to kill it!" Sakura shouted.

"The fourth did die, but he didn't kill the demon. He died sealing the demon inside of someone who could handle the creature's chakra."

I saw where this was going.

"He sealed the Kyuubi into a baby."

It explains just about everything that didn't make sense about him before.

"The fourth used me."

(Sasuke POV)

Naruto… The Kyuubi?

Was that why he wanted to end it? How could the Yondaime do this?

"I need to go." Naruto muttered before jumping out of the window. I ran over to it and saw him jumping from the rooftops.

"It's very important that all of you understand, " The hokage said, tearing my eyes away from the now very far away Naruto, "the nine tailed fox and Naruto are two separate creatures. He isn't the demon, even if certain others seem to believe that, and he's still your comrade. If I find out that any of you are treating him differently because of you know this S-class secret, there will be consequences. Now, you're dismissed." He sounded angry, and his voice was threatening, and the people in the room quickly left to avoid his wrath.

As soon as we were out of there, Kakashi took off, leaving the rookies to discuss what we learned.

* * *

(Kakashi POV)

I caught up to Naruto quickly enough, and followed him all the way to the forest of death. I need to tell him about his father.

* * *

Author's note: Bam! I finally got it done! It wash't even that long, and I took forever on it. Oh well. Please give me honest feedback on this chapter. I need to know if there's anything I have to fix.

Review, favorite, and follow! It also couldn't kill you to check out my other stories… just saying.

Song of the day: "Bag O' Weed" From Family Guy. It's a parody of "Stepping Time" from Mary Poppins, and it was hilariously amazing. Sorry if I ramble, but coming up with this stuff is annoying, and I need my nonsensical time.


	6. Tell the Truth

Author's note: **idrk what to put,** **steellord, thor94, Randomly Talented, TsunaMoe, TigerzzTail,** and to the guest who reviewed, THANK YOU! I live off of the attention. You guys are seriously awesome.

About the pairing for this, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Everyone wants something different, so I'm just gonna do this. Whatever paring gets to 15 votes first wins. Here's whee things stand now:

KyuuNaru: 4

SasuNaru: 3

ShikaNaru: 2

NaruHina: 1

KakaNaru: 1

Brotherly relationships/no pairings: 2

So… yeah. Vote for your favorite now. I own nothing.

* * *

(Kyuubi POV)

I found him. This kid is the key to helping Naruto. I followed him around for a while, waiting for his weird friends to leave, until I could finally make my move. When no one else was around, even the anbu who I made magically disappear, I stepped forward and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Konohamaru." He turned around and stared at me.

"Umm… who are you?"

"That doesn't matter. You know about what happened to your friend Naruto, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"He needs your help."

"Why would he need my help? And does this mean I can see him now?"

I froze. They haven't let the kid see him. Does he even know what happened? Knowing the damn hokage, and just humans in general, he would want to keep something like this a secret in order to 'protect' him. Bloody idiot.

"So, what exactly happened to Naruto? I heard that he was injured…" I trailed off, waiting for the kid to say something.

"He got hurt training."

"And who told you that?" I growled, already knowing the answer.

He took a step away from me.

"The hokage, am I right?" His face confirmed it. "Well, he lied to you. Naruto didn't simply 'get hurt.' " I know it was a bad idea to tell the kid, especially if the hokage wanted to keep it away from him, but he needs to know.

"Naruto tried to kill himself."

* * *

(Naruto POV)

Kakashi appeared behind me, and I immediately had to refrain from running away from him. As much as I need to be alone, I know he wouldn't come anywhere near me unless it was for something important.

"What do you want?" Again, I was being way harsher than was necessary, but I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

He put his hands up in mock surrender. "I just want to talk. That okay with you?"

"That depends on what you want to talk about. If you're gonna try to apologize, don't."

He didn't react to what I said, other than the deep breath he took.

"I want to tell you about your parents."

I immediately froze up before walking straight up to him.

"How long have you known?" I prayed to god that, by some holy miracle, Kakashi didn't know who they were when he first met me.

He looked down. "I knew before you were born."

All coherent thought left me.

* * *

(Kyuubi POV)

Maybe I should've been more delicate, but at least I got to the point instead of drawing it out. The kid looked completely and totally shocked, like he didn't believe me.

"W-what are you talking about? Naruto wouldn't do something like that! He's too strong…"

"Really? You sound more like you're trying to convince yourself than me."

"No! I know I'm right! And my grandfather would've told me if that happened! So you're just a liar!"

This kid was ticking me off a little. I get that he's in denial or whatever, but you don't just go around offending people when they're trying to help.

"So your grandfather tells you everything? You honestly believe that he would share things with a kid like you? Face the facts, kid. If there's a secret that could potentially cause problems, it's gonna be buried away so that no one can discover it. Your 'honorable grandfather' thinks he's saving you from the 'horrible truth' by lying to you, the helpless idiot. Now, do you believe me, or will you adopt the same ignorance that seems to possess all humans?"

Instead of answering, he turned and ran as fast as he could away from me.

I could chase after him, but he needs some time to think over what I said. He is just a kid, after all. Now, I need to find Naruto…

* * *

(Naruto POV)

When I regained control of myself, I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of my mouth. It was similar to what I'd said to the Sandaime, only now I was showing how upset I was about it.

"So you just decided not to tell me? That you had some right to keep the identity of _my_ parents a secret? Or were you ordered to? You people just don't know when to stop! I don't know why the hell you thought it would be okay to keep everything about my life a secret from me, but you it's ridiculous! Goddammit, I don't even blame Kyuubi for attacking! I'm glad that all of this happened! Maybe I'll jump off a cliff next time and learn something else about my life! I wonder what else you people kept from me. At this point, I've lost any form of respect I ever had for everyone in my life, and I don't think I could trust any human on this planet after what's happened. I guess it was just your job, though, right? It was just business? You and everyone else were there to make sure I didn't lose control? Well, you can leave me alone, now! The Kyuubi isn't sealed into me anymore!" Now, I couldn't get the words out fast enough. When I was done, I looked over to see Kakashi staring at me, wide eyed.

I told him all he needed to know. Now, he could go and report to his precious hokage. I turned away from him and waited until he left, only to be met with silence instead of footsteps.

"If you're done now, I'd like to tell you who they were."

I turned around and stared at him. Nothing I said had any effect on him. In contrast, he was smiling at me. I walked over to him, grudgingly, and sat down. No matter how mad I am, I still want to know about my parents.

"Your father was a great man. He was actually my sensei… but I suppose you don't want to hear about that." Kakashi conveniently dodged talking about his past, and I remained silent.

"His name was Minato, and he was an outstanding shinobi. His wife, your mother, Kushina was a very strong woman. If you got her mad at you, she would become scarier than a thousand assassins. They both wanted to become hokage, and battled for the title. In the end, your father won, and became the Yondaime." He pause, letting the information sink in.

The fourth hokage. The man who sealed Kyuubi into me. Of course. It makes sense. What would an unbelievably horrible life be like without a father who sealed a demon inside of you the moment you were born? Joke's on him; Kyuubi's awesome.

"You weren't the only one to host the Kyuuni, though; Kushina was its jinchuuriki before you, and her mother before her. It used your birth as an opportunity to escape, and your father had no other choice than sealing it inside of you. You were the only one who could handle its chakra, and eventually merge with it. There was no other way to stop it, because chakra beings can't be killed, and your parents died in the process of the sealing. That makes me wonder what you mean when you say that it's not sealed into you anymore, and slightly concerned as to where it is right now, but making sure that you're okay comes first."

Immediately, I started to feel bitter again, but I tried to push it away; the guy was just trying to help.

"So, why weren't you there before? If I'm so important, why didn't you help me? You clearly knew about me before I was even made your student, and my father was your sensei. Why wouldn't you be there for me? And I don't mean raising me, or adopting me, or even taking care of me in any way. Why didn't you ever even talk to me? I didn't know that you existed until you became my sensei, and a lousy one at that, even though you knew more about me than I did."

Kakashi avoided eye contact. "You were a reminder of something I didn't want to remember."

What? A reminder? Something else I don't know about, I presume. It could just be my father's death, but if it affected Kakashi that much, they would definitely have been close enough for him to take care of me, no matter what I reminded him of.

"I need some time to think about this." I muttered, getting up and walking away from him.

* * *

(Konohamaru POV)

I refuse to believe it. Naruto would never… would he?

The guy who told me all of this… he's right. I don't know anything about Naruto, other than the fact that he was there for me when I needed someone. If Naruto really needs my help, I need to return the favor. I guess I should try finding that guy again, since I have no idea where Naruto is. I guess I should check the training grounds for him…

While I was thinking, I wasn't looking where I was going, and I bumped into someone. I fell back onto the ground, and looked up at the person I'd run into.

"Oh. Sorry, Konohamaru."

"Naruto?!" I jumped to my feet, briefly noting his black get up before remembering what tat strange man had said.

"Yeah, who'd you think it was?" He tried for a smile, but it was clearly fake, even to me.

"I need you to tell me something! Did you really try to… to… die?" I could barely make it through the sentence, and knew it was true as I saw the scowl appear on his face.

He sighed before getting down on one knee and looking me in the eye.

"Yes, I did. I know it was a stupid decision, but there are certain things that caused it. I'm sorry. There are so many things that you don't know, that I never want you to know."

"What things?!"

"Very, very bad things."

"Don't you trust me?!"

Why wouldn't he just tell me?

"Of course I do. There are some things that I don't want to expose you to, though." He was speaking very calmly and gently, probably trying to make me stop yelling.

"I can handle it, just tell me!"

"No." he said, bluntly, getting up and walking away from me.

"Why won't you just tell him?" A familiar voice rang out from behind me. I turned to see the strange redheaded man from before. Naruto spun around and glared at the man.

"I mean, what's the harm in telling him about the seal?" He asked Naruto, confusing me a little.

Naruto visibly relaxed, and his eyes softened.

"Konohamaru, there's something VERY important that you don't know about me. I guess that we even more in common than we originally thought. We're both related to a hokage."

My eyes widened a lot, and I stared at him to see if he was lying. That wasn't possible!

"Yup. My father was the fourth hokage. And that's not all… I was the reason he died."

(Naruto POV, after telling Konohamaru about Kyuubi)

After taking Konohamaru to the hokage, I was brought back to the room where I'd left the rookies behind, with Kyuubi following close behind me.

"I need to talk to you." He muttered, trying not to draw the attention of the other eleven people still in the room.

"We can't right now."

"Yeah, I see that. I just need to you to call me Kuru from now on. Especially in front of them."

Okay… I guess it's pretty important to keep his identity secret.

"Naruto." Sasuke called, walking over to me. "We all need to tell you something. What you told us before… we want you to know that-" Whatever he was going to say, I didn't want to hear it. I could't take anything else today, so I cut off his sentence.

"Listen, I've been through a lot today, and I really need some to rest. I can talk to you all tomorrow, but right now… I need to have a word with Kuru." I pointed towards Kyuubi, and watched as they were shooed from the room by him.

"You heard him! You can come back tomorrow, now get out!"

He shoved them out of the door and slammed the door. I really don't want to do this, but I need to talk to him about what happened to my parents.

* * *

Author's note: Well, I'm pretty sure that this is the longest chapter I've posted so far… for this story. I hope you liked it. If you didn't, or if you did, tell me via review! Please follow and favorite this story as well, seeing as I NEED THE ATTENTION!

Song of the day: "One Foot" by Fun. I think I might've used this one for another one of my stories, but… meh. too bad. I love it.


	7. Leave me, save me

Author's note: To all of the guests and everyone who keeps reviewing, and everyone who's followed/favorited this story, thank you so much! It's kinda hard to do what all of you want, but I'll try to make it work. I mean, there are some things that I want to happen in this story that I refuse to change, but other than that, I'll fit in whatever I can. I'm terribly sorry to those of you who want this to be NaruHina, but it will probably just be a one-sided romance. I actually really like Hinata, but I think she'd be better with Kiba. i don't know why I'm rambling about this… I'll get on with the story now… In a minute.

 **Nardolini,** I'm glad you're liking my story. Honestly, I'm open to just about whatever pairing gets the most votes, seeing as I usually have no preference; however, for this one story, I'm slightly partial to KyuuNaru, only because… well… he's awesome. Thank you for voting. Your support makes me update faster

 **Sluethe,** KyuuNaru! So happy. With the actual storyline, it would be a very weird relationship, but with the strange way I wrote it, I think it could work. Thanks for voting. Again, I faster updates with support from awesome people.

 **TigerzzTail,** you figured it out before I had a chance to explain anything. Yeah, Kakashi was kind of a jerk, in my story and the original, but it's justified… sort of. Naruto reminded him of his past, and he just so happened to be the son of Kakashi's sensei. Everyone from his old team died, and he couldn't stand to be reminded of that. Which, I guess, doesn't make sense since he went to the memorial stone with their names on it EVERY MORNING, but… reasons…

 **Arcami,** thanks for the new pairing idea! KyuuShikaNaru sounds fun, and I haven't really seen it before, so I guess it would be original. I don't want this to turn into a harem thing, though… I guess two people liking him isn't that bad, though.

To the guests that reviewed, I"ll say this. It might turn into SasuNaru, Naruto will not intentionally do anything involving self inflicted suffering, and this story will at least involve some one-sided yaoi. Sorry.

KyuuNaru: 7

SasuNaru: 4

ShikaNaru: 3

NaruHina: 2

KakaNaru: 1

No Pairing/brotherly relationships: 3(I'm counting the review from the person who didn't want yaoi)

Please keep voting! Which ever one gets to 20 votes first, I'll most likely do. So far, it's looking like it'll be KyuuNaru, which I would LOVE to write, but I'm open to whatever works for the plot.

Now, I sincerely hope that I don't royally screw up and lose every one of my readers. If I do… I can finally just post a hardcore smut chapter without getting caught. I own nothing.

* * *

(Naruto POV)

I couldn't do it. After all of the stupid, pointless, dramatic nonsense I've dealt with today, I couldn't talk go through another ridiculous talk. On top of that, I've been healer slower than I normally do, probably because Kyuubi's not sealed in me anymore, and it hurts. I think I reopened one of the cuts or something…

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

I guess I can try having a normal conversation, even if it's just a distraction.

"Why 'Kuru'?"

He blinked twice.

"Huh?"

"Of all the names you could've chosen, why Kuru?"

"It's my name. Well, it's Kuruma, but close enough. I didn't want to give them more than necessary to work with, so I shortened it."

"Kuruma. This is going to be so hard. You've been Kyuubi to me this whole time, so it's gonna be weird calling you something else."

Kuruma sighed. "So, you found out about your parents after twelve years of wondering, and all you want to talk about is my name. Unbelievable."

"I'm too tired to have another deep, important conversation, Kuruma. Yeah, that's weird. Kuruma, Kyuubi. Kyuubi, Kuruma. Kuruma suits you better, but I'll never be able to get used to it."

"If you're tired, go to sleep. You still need to talk to everyone in the morning, though." Kuruma muttered, getting up to walk away.

I really wanted to stop him, and make him stay, but I couldn't bring myself to. I know that I won't be able to get any sleep tonight, even if I tried, because of the nightmares, and I really don't want to stay up all night staring at the ceiling; I wouldn't tell him to stay, though. The guy already gave up most of his powers to keep me alive. What else could I make him do?

* * *

(Sakura POV)

I won't let Naruto do this. She's tearing herself apart because of him. God, he can be so stupid sometimes! Did he really think everything would just be fine after something like that? And then he told us that he has the Kyuubi sealed into him? I'm not sure that things can ever go back to the way that they were before.

Oh, well. Tonight, none of us will be thinking about any of that. We're gonna spend the rest of the night having fun.

(Hinata POV)

Naruto… Why couldn't I just try to talk to him? I should've done something, anything, to have been there for him. Instead, I just watched everything from a distance… Useless.

I haven't left my room since it happened, other than the one visit with Naruto, and they have to force me to eat. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't stop myself. How could I not notice what was going on? Things obviously weren't good for him, and he still managed to smile every day. He was slowly giving up on things, but he still tried to get someone, anyone, to notice him. He was so strong, and the one time he need someone to be strong for him, they weren't. None of this would've happened if I'd done something! Why am I so useless? I can never do anything. Maybe my father's right not to believe in me.

I don't deserve anyone's trust after how oblivious I was to the person I care about. I didn't even see it coming…

There was a loud knock at my door, before someone barged into my room.

"Hinata! I won't let you sulk in here anymore! You're gonna come with us, and have a fun night _away from your room!"_ It was Sakura, along with Ino and a hesitant TenTen, dragging me out of my room.

"I… I don't want to go!(10th doctor)" I practically screamed at them. They ignored my protests, even though they seemed a bit shocked that I yelled, and dragged me away from the Hyuuga complex.

* * *

Ummmm… yeah… this chapter doesn't really do anything for the plot except maybe build onto character personality and demonstrate a few minor points. There's also a bit of foreshadowing, but… that's not important. Well… Review, follow, and favorite. I love it when you do that for me *winks*

I'm so sorry for my weird randomness. It's not my fault. I mean, it was my choice to drink eight cups of coffee and eat as many candy canes as I could, but it was't my fault! I know what I want to do next for this story, and it's gonna be pretty sudden and random, unless you know a lot about blood clots, but I don't want to make it happen too soon, so I'll probably do one more chapter of filler before I actually get to it. Bear with me!

Song of the day: "Fake It" by Seether. Have I already done that one? I'm too lazy to check, so I guess I'll just do two.

"Romeo and Cinderella" I like Miku-tan's version of this best. Until next week, this is SexyLlama69, don't be a pudding lasagna!


	8. Illusion of Choice Pt 1

Author's note: This… will most likely not be SasuNaru. I haven't completely decided yet, but I really want to try to make it something that everyone can be happy reading. I'm pretty sure that it has to be KyuuNaru at this point, though I'm open to suggestions/arguments.

Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers! I love the attention! I also blame you all for my lack of sleep… even though I basically just stay up watching disney movies instead of writing.

Also, I'm really sorry for the extreme delay. I would've posted sooner, but my brain was falling apart and I couldn't think of what to write next. If you don't want to hear my excuses, just skip to the line break. I can feel a rant coming on. First, I got sick. I don't really know what happened. I went to bed, feeling completely fine, and then I shot out of bed at 2 a.m. feeling like death, barely making it to the bathroom before throwing up. It was disgusting. The same ting happened again two hours later, and for the next week I was dead. I practically lived on my couch, and somewhere along there I got pink eye. This doesn't really excuse anything because I got better in one week and basically just gave up on life. I also have weird online placement test thing coming up, and I really need to study. Like, I never payed attention to anything any teacher taught me, and I just glared at every piece of schoolwork, willing it to disintegrate, so now my schedule is basically just learning how to brain every day. And on top of that , I still need to find time to lie on my couch and do nothing. See how horrible my life is?! *ignores overworked, sick, sleep deprived sister passing out in background*

Anyway, I own nothing aside from my first world problems.

* * *

(Naruto POV)

I need to get out of this place. I've been staring at the ceiling for what has to have been three hours, and I'm sick of it. I'm not going to get any sleep, so there's no point in lying around and doing nothing. Besides, sleep is a waste of time anyway.

Maybe I can just leave the village for a little while… I can be back by morning.

I crawled out of my room window and ran to the border of Konoha, not really knowing why.

By some miracle, I managed to get there without being seen by the night guards. Konoha really needs to get better security. It still me that this place is considered a strong nation when a child can so easily slip past their eyes. I looked out at the dark city and suddenly stopped questioning why I came.

The view took my breathe away, and I silently thanked the on-duty guards for being so terrible at their jobs. The sun was just beginning to rise, telling me just how long I'd been staring at that ceiling, and it made the village glow. The buildings were halfway visible in the light, the lakes and streams glimmered and shone, and the streets were empty, giving the entire village a serene, flawless vibe.

It was beautiful, but I couldn't ever look at this place without remembering how terrible the people in this village could be. I couldn't see any of the good without remembering how outmatched it was by the bad. It was alluring and sickening at the same time. I don't know why I stay here. This place is the center of every single one of my bad memories: all of the moments where I hated living, all of the restless seconds spent trying to find some sanctuary where I could be myself, all of the times I wondered what happiness felt like. I know that there is still good here, and that even the 'bad people' have a reason behind their actions, but it just makes me sick thinking about what they're capable of.

I know that it's not just me who's gone through things like this. The hokage has to have other secrets hidden form people, especially if he wouldn't even tell me who my own parents were, and I don't like thinking about what they are. I can't even get angry about it, though, because I understand why. He kept things hidden because he didn't trust people with the truth. I just don't understand his choice of who to trust.

I know that some people aren't trustworthy, but _surely_ the villagers deserve to know some of these things.

NOPE! Keeping secrets from the villagers is okay because, hey, they're definitely gonna betray us! I mean, what kind of place would we be if the people who lived here _would_ stay loyal to us? There's no way that could ever happen.

I'm trying not to get mad, but he just makes it so easy.

After calming myself down a bit and looking up to see that the sun was almost completely visible, I sprinted back to my room. As soon as I arrived at the window, I could see an angry looking Kuru glaring at me, and I _almost_ hesitated to jump through the window. _Almost._ But, I refused to stop, and Kuru had to jump out of the way avoid being kicked in the face.

"Where were you?"

"Relax, man. I just went for a walk."

(Kuruma POV)

It took all of my willpower, but I managed not to hit the kid.

"I thought you ran for it! Do you have any idea who'd be blamed if you left?"

"Well, you're the one who brought me back, so I highly doubt that they'd do anything to you. I mean, they don't even know who you really are."

"I brought you back, I'm the only one you talk to, and I could have easily convinced you to leave, and they don't know who I am. They would have reason to be suspicious, especially if they found me here without you."

"So... you only care about what happens to you."

I slammed him back against the window frame, barely controlling myself.

"Listen, kid. I gave up a lot to keep you alive, and I've spent time trying to get you back to normal, but I won't stand for this. Do you actually think that I would've saved your life and taken care of you if I only cared about what happened to me? Though, with the way you've been acting, I can't be sure that I actually got you back. The old you could never be this useless. You were given another chance to live, and you're gonna waste it moping around and pitying yourself. You never would've done that! You would take all of the problems and turn them into challenges, and try to make something of yourself. Everyone gets it! Your life isn't perfect! But you could actually do something about it!"

I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"If this is the way you intend on living, then everything I gave up meant nothing. You won't actually be living a life, and you'll lose everything respectable about yourself." He seemed a little surprised by my words, but the shock was quickly replaced with a blank stare, and I completely lost it.

I pulled him back from the window and walked to the door.

"I don't know why I even bothered. You're the same as the rest of them." I muttered before slamming walking out and slamming the door behind me.

* * *

(Sakura POV)

Last night... didn't go the way I thought it would. Apparently, when Hinata gets tired, she becomes really daring, which tends to get people mad. The first few hours were perfectly fine, but around 1 a.m., she started acting crazy. We got permanently banned from five shops, two streets, and a park, Hinata was constantly trying to start fights, and she wouldn't let us go home until a little before sunrise. We went back to my place, since it was the easiest house to sneak into, and Ino and Hinata are passed out on the floor.

Even though it got a bit crazy, I'm still happy that I got Hinata to hang out with us. She seemed like she was genuinely happy, and I haven't seen her like that for a while, so I'm glad that we ran around the village all night, even if it was chaotic.

Things are starting to look up for the first time in a long time. From what I can tell, Sasuke seems to be getting better, and, later today, I'll go and persuade Naruto to talk to him. After all, the depression of the rookies was caused by him. Who honestly tries to kill themselves because they had a few secrets? Could he just not handle his problems? Honestly, I understand that attempted suicide is a serious thing, but I don't really hold much respect for the people in these situations. They're too weak to handle what life throws at them, so, instead of getting help, they decide to end it all.

Even the people who don't have anyone to help them can help themselves in order to gain close, important people in their lives, who are willing to help them.

Really, suicide is an imperfection. It's just leaving earlier than you should've because you couldn't emotionally handle what was happening to you. It's not like you can't physically survive for any longer. I can see it as a way out if you were starving to death, or bleeding out somewhere in immense pain, but just because you let your emotions take over and make the decision for you? I don't understand it.

The primal instinct of mankind is to survive at all costs, so why fight it? What's the point in killing yourself? If your life is so horrible, and you can't find any better reason to live, wouldn't the curiosity stop you? Things could've gotten so much better for you if you would've just waited. You could just see things through to the natural end.

I guess I should actually try having a discussion with someone about this, just to see their side of things. I bet I could talk to Iruka-sensei about this. I know that most people wouldn't agree with my opinion, and they might even be upset with me for it, but I know that Iruka-sensei won't judge me for it. Though I probably shouldn't tell him that this was brought on by Naruto if I don't want to make him mad. If I told Iruka-sensei that I don't respect Naruto because of this, I know that he'll get upset. But I can't just make myself respect him, and I can't change my honest opinions at will.

I looked out the window and saw the sun starting to rise. I never really liked sunrises... They're pretty, but the light always wakes me up earlier than any human should be awake. I need to get to bed before it gets any further up.

* * *

Author's notes:... Yeah, that's it. I know that Sakura's views are somewhat... special? But she will talk to Iruka, and there is significance to her opinion...

Moving on!

Song of the day: "Ricky" by Weird Al. It's a parody of "Mickey", and it's pretty old, but I actually didn't find it until now, and I love Weird Al so much more right now.

Movie of the day: Holes... *whispers* Zero and Stanley are the most adorable couple ever.

Please review, favorite, and follow! The attention will make me update faster!


	9. Illusion of Choice Pt 2

Author's note: I feel like such a horrible person... This is the only story I've been updating. The other ones are just so boring, though! My own writing bores me! I've also been writing this instead of beta reading the stories I was supposed to have edited, like, two months ago, so... I belong in Tartarus. Anyway, I hope that I've made my delightful readers happy with my update. I don't own Naruto.

To the Guest that talked about a *ahem* graphic yaoi scene *blushes like a mad woman*: I... *blushes* I don't... That actually sounds like what I would write *blushes and flashes back to Sebaciel fic*(I died writing it), but I don't want this story to be all smutty! If a lot of people want a smut scene... I'm just gonna leave that thought where it was. And, no, Sakura will not be destroyed in this fic. She will change a lot of her views, though, because I honestly feel like her character could be likable*smirks*. Kakashi is... he's still a bit torn up, especially after the suicide attempt. As far as Orochimaru goes, I'm not sure that the characters will live that long. *chuckles nervously* yeah. I think I might kill Sasuke off first. Not that I don't like his character(... but I don't), I just feel like it would have more of an impact on the story than someone from another team(a background character, as of now) dying. Also... sorry about this, but Naruto genuinely liked Sakura in this story(notice I said 'likED').

Guest(and everyone reviewing about parings): *hour long sigh* *hour long scream of frustration* Ok, I'm actually going to attempt probably one of the dumbest things I've ever done... I'm gonna try to make everyone happy. I'll consider every pairing, and maybe include more than one in here, and stress out about fan fiction. To be honest, I don't really want to make any of the relationships graphic, no matter who he's with, so it won't be like he just gets with everyone, but he might be in more than one relationship. And, because I'm a jerk, I'm gonna bring this up. It might be weird that Kyuubi's thousands of years older than Naruto, but... Twilight.

TigerzzTail: I said some stuff before, but I want to elaborate. I actually was a bit suicidal at one point in my life, but... don't be mad... I can understand her way of thinking about this, even if it is a bit harsh. I didn't really go into this before, but it also makes her hypocritical because she's judging other people for not helping themselves when she herself chooses to only wait around for 'prince charming' to save her.

Wow... that took up a lot of room... now I can feel like I wrote way more than I did! Yay!

* * *

(Naruto POV)

What the hell? Who would do that? He saved someone who almost killed themselves, consoled them, and then essentially told them that they weren't even worth his time. Who in their right mind would do that?

He really doesn't know how humans work, does he? I should just let him leave. This village doesn't need such a huge threat within its walls, and I certainly don't need him. Kuru only helped me so that I wouldn't drag him down with me. Without him, I would be free to do what I wanted, the village would be safe, and I wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. But I can't let him leave. It would be turning my back on the enemy, practically letting them cut you down.

I shouldn't even let him out of my sight, and I should've told the old man who he was the moment I woke up. But I owe him, at least a little bit. Despite everything that he's done he still saved my life out of something aside from pity. I can't have him locked up without a second chance... I'll just wait for him to screw up before turning him in. That's all he's earned.

There was a soft knock at my door, which I tried desperately to ignore, that got gradually louder as I continued doing nothing.

"Naruto! I know you're in there! I can hear you, now open the goddamn door!" Sasuke yelled, sounding annoyed. I still didn't answer it, opting, instead, to crawl under the blankets and pretend to be asleep. I heard the door crashing to the ground, and I barely managed to stop myself from flinching. He sighed in annoyance before adopting a bored tone.

"I know you're awake. I saw you climb through the window five minutes ago."

I rolled over and stared at him before rolling back over and pulling the covers up further. In less than a second, they were torn off of me.

"Get up."

I groaned and hugged the pillow, refusing to listen to him.

"Naruto, get up. I need to talk to you."

I opened one eye.

"If you give me my blanket back, I'll listen to you." I muttered. He threw it on top of me and penitently waited for me to move to sit up... I never did.

"I thought you said you would listen to me."

"I can listen like this. Go ahead." I could feel the waved of annoyance radiating off of him.

"Fine. I want to talk to you about what you did." I tensed up, and it must've been pretty noticeable, because he suddenly corrected himself. "I won't make you talk about why you did it or anything, I just needed to tell you that I understand what you're going through." He sighed loudly. "Look, I wasn't exactly the happiest person when I lost my family, and there was definitely a time when I thought of doing what you tried to do." I rolled over to look at him again. He seemed really hesitant to talk about this, but he kept going.

"But I managed to find something to strive for; something that I need to do before I die. I won't let myself give up before I complete my goal. Your goal was to become hokage, and even though you've given up on that, I know that you can find some reason to carry on."

When I didn't respond for a while, he kept going.

"You know, I couldn't believe it when I first found out. Not because I didn't think you had a reason to, but because it was so out of character for you. Though, I guess, you were put under enough pressure to finally make you snap. I can't really blame you, I just... I don't want to think about losing another- ...I didn't want to lose a good teammate."

"Another brother? Is that what you were going to say? Or was it just another family member? Another friend? Another distant acquaintance?"

"Stop."

"Come on." I sat up. "We were barely even teammates. I appreciate your concern, but can you honestly tell me that you would've been saying any of this to me had I not tried to die? No. All of this is only a result of my little attempt, which makes me sick."

"Of course it is! If you'd made your situation clear, or told _anyone_ what you were feeling, they would've helped you the same way that everyone's trying to help now. We only know about your depression because of this. You can't say that it makes you sick when this was basically your way of telling us about your depression."

I glared at him. "You're agreeing with me, then; people do get different treatment when they're suicidal. So people who are depressed are treated with more dignity and respect than healthy human beings. I'm not even normally treated like a human being, but as soon as I start hating myself, people start liking me. That's logical."

"If your suicidal, it makes sense that people should make the feelings that were _already there_ apparent to show you that people would miss you."

"So you're telling me that my death would've had an impact on a huge amount of people. World changing amounts of people would be affected for the worse if I disappeared." He didn't say anything. "Most people wouldn't even notice that I was gone, and the rest of the population would rejoice at the death of the monster, my teammates included."

"I wouldn't 'rejoice'! When we found you with your wrists slit-" He stopped himself, and looked away from me before walking to the door. I flopped back on my bed, and I barely heard the last part of his sentence.

"-I felt like I'd lost everything again."


	10. Still Looking

Author's Note: I don't own Naruto. And this story isn't SasuNaru! I swear to Kishimoto! I've run out of things to say. Yet again, I have nothing to talk/complain about, so... Innuendo time!

"This spoon is so big."

"The reverend touched me."

"With god, size never matters."

"I've been trying to give up innuendos, but it's hard... so hard..."

"Put the tip of it in your mouth and swirl it around, holding the shaft firmly. When the white liquid fills your mouth, pull it out and spit. Always brush your teeth."

I think I'm done... you're welcome.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

I'd be better off if I stayed away from him. He's distracting me from my goal. I can't get involved with him. I should forget about him now while I still can.

No matter how many times I tell myself this, no matter how many reasons I can find for it, I can't make myself abandon him. After everything he went through, he didn't tell us because he didn't trust us, and I can't pretend that I don't want him to. I just wish I could make him believe that we actually do care. I don't think that's a possibility anymore, though.

Did we really act like we hated him so much before? Or could he just not tell that we cared?

I suppose that constantly being treated like a monster could make someone believe that they are, but there must've been someone who told him otherwise. Back in the academy... everyone either ignored or mistreated him, myself included. The Sandaime and Iruka were there for him, though I suppose the fact that they kept the nine tails fate a secret could shatter his trust. Still, they were doing what they thought was best, so Naruto would definitely understand their decision. He still had them, even if he didn't believe that anyone else cared.

"Sasuke!" The distinctive lazy tone told me who was calling my name, and I turned to see all of team six heading towards me.

For once, Ino didn't fawn over me the moment she saw me, and they all seemed a little less energetic than usual.

"We're heading over to see Naruto. You wanna come?" Shikamaru asked.

"I was just over there."

I could visibly see them all perk up.

"How was he?" Ino asked.

I sighed. "Different. Listen, right now might not be the best time for you to go over there."

"You could come with us. If he's really upset, we could use help in cheering him up." Asuma offered. I tried to decline, but they somehow managed to drag me with them, claiming that they needed me to show them to his room.

When we got there, the door was still on the ground from when I kicked it down, and team six shot questioning looks at each other. I ignored their looks and turned away from them. "I took you to his room. That's all you needed me for." With that, I tried to leave as quickly as was humanly possible, only to be called back by Shikamaru.  
"Hey, Sasuke! You sure this is the right room?"

"Yes."

Shikamaru just groaned and muttered something about Naruto being troublesome.

"But it's empty." Ino said.

I was back at the door in a second, and, as she said, Naruto wasn't there.

"The door looks like it was kicked in. Do you think someone broke in and kidnapped him?"

"No." I muttered, glaring at the bed. The blanket was gone. Once again, I ran away from the room and rushed to get outside, ignoring Ino and the others trying to call me back. When I find him, I'm gonna kill him for making me worry.

* * *

(Sakura POV)

Okay. I'm finally going to do it. I'm going to talk to Iruka-sensei. I need someone to talk to about this; it's been bothering me for too long. I reached forward to push open the door to his classroom, but, for the third time, ended up backing away from it.

Okay, Okay, Okay. I need to just do it(hehe... I'm trash). I walked back up to the door and pushed it open, only to find Naruto sitting across from Iruka.

"Oh. Sakura, did you need anything?"

"Um..."

I guess I did want to talk to Naruto, too.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. Naruto, you too."

"About what?" He asked, seeming genuinely confused that I wanted to talk with him.

"I, um, I want to ask you about... suicide."

"Sakura, I don't think that's really appropriate." Iruka immediately tried to change the subject, probably only because Naruto is here.

"What did you want to ask?" Naruto completely ignored Iruka's attempt at consideration.

"I wanted to know why you did it." Iruka seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable.

"How many times do you want me to go over this?"

"No, not those reasons. I mean, what was going through your head when you decided that death was the only way out of your problems."

"Sakura-" Iruka tried again, only to be interrupted my Naruto.

"I just reached the conclusion that if I wasn't even happy with my life, and things were better off without me anyway, what reason do I really have to stay here?"

"You should stay to see things through until the end! And you can't honestly say that things would be better off without you. You have a team that depends on you to be there for them, and they most definitely would not be better off without you!"

"Sakura, I don't think you fully understand. I am the nine tails jinchuuriki, which means that the demon is sealed in me. The only possible future for me is as Konoha's pet. I'll be expected to obey every command without hesitation and never oppose them. Hell, being called Konoha's pet is a stretch; I'd be a weapon. I'd be an object. That's not something I want. And, although losing a teammate would be a setback, team seven would soon get a new member that would be way more motivated and loyal than me, which would only strengthen the team. I also can honestly say that this village is better off without me. Sure, they'd lose a weapon, but they'd also lose a risk. I'm a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off; the second the seal malfunctions, or I lose control, or I give into its wishes, Konoha will be the first thing to go. So, even if you don't agree with my personal reasons, don't try to say that my death wouldn't improve the state of things."

All I could do was stare.

"Naruto..." Iruka reached outer and tried to touch his shoulder, but Naruto just moved towards the door.

"Wait!" I called after him.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to try again." And with that, he walked out.

I didn't know about the seal. I turned around to see Iruka shaking and looking at the ground.

"Iruka-sensei, are you-"

"He was getting better." His words were almost inaudible.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Just before you got here, he was talking to me. He was starting to care about his life. He even seemed a little happy. Naruto was getting better before you went and reminded him." He sounded like he was trying and failing to conceal his rage. He didn't look at me, opting instead to walk out of his classroom wordlessly.

I think I just ruined everything.

I grabbed a blanket from one of the seats in Iruka-sensei's room, and I made starting making my home, trying me hardest not to think about what I just did.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

Damn it. I think I just looked everywhere in Konoha, yet I still haven't seen any sign of him. I scanned the streets one more time, and caught a glimpse of something. I ran to it as quickly as I could.

"Sakura! Where did you get that?" I pointed to the blanket around her shoulders.

"Oh. Hey, Sasuke."

"Sakura, this is important."

"I was talking with Iruka-sensei and Naruto, and-"

"Where did Naruto go afterwards?"

"We were back at the academy, but I have no idea where he went afterwards. But if you see him, can you tell him that I want to talk to him again?"

"Sure." I muttered before running off. That was helpful.

After an hour or so of searching, I was almost ready to stop looking. But, as a last effort, I decided to check Konoha's border. I'd looked literally everywhere else.

I looked around a bit before I found him. He was curled up under a tree, asleep. I don't think I've ever been so frustrated. I was ready to wake him up so I could punch him in the face, but as soon as I touched his shoulder, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up against his chest. I tried to pull away from him, very aware of the blush spreading across my face, but I couldn't get out of his unrelenting hold.

"Let go!" Unfortunately, he was still asleep, and talking did absolutely nothing. I couldn't help but focus on the small distance between our faces. Again, I tried to pull away, but he really didn't want to let go.

Eventually, I gave up and stopped struggling. With nothing else to do(that's the only reason... everyone believes this), I took in Naruto's features. Without the headband on, Naruto's hair actually doesn't look bad. I reached up and ran my fingers through it, only to feel tons of snarls and knots in his hair. I wouldn't be surprised if he's never heard of a hairbrush. Subconsciously, I kept running my hands through his messy hair, trying to brush it out. The whisker-like marks on his face look almost like they could be scars, but they also seem natural. I can't tell if they're marks left on his skin or a birthmark. If only I could... I entangled my hand from his hair and ran my thumb over his cheek. His skin was soft; they're definitely not scars. He was still asleep, so I couldn't see his eyes, but I remember them very clearly. Who could ever forget those sapphire-like orbs?

...

I sound like one of my fangirls. I could never obsess over Naruto in the same way. I don't freak out at the thought of him noticing me, or talking to me, or d-dating me... I could feel my face heating up at the thought, but I brushed it off and went back to trying to fix Naruto's hair until I started to drift off.

(No POV)

In the distance, a demonic figure scowled at the scene playing out before him. When he destroyed the village, the Uchiha would be the first to go.

* * *

Author's Note: Once again, this story is only one-sided SasuNaru... probably... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO!

I just need a brain that can actually function.

DeadlySins: I second that. For just a few million dollars, you can help this child gain some intelligence. #braintransplantsforidiots

Shut up, head. Watch as I desperately try to make this chalet 2000 words long! Do you see all the effort! It's almost there. If I put enough silly, awesome, fun, colorful, special, shiny, fluffy, clockwise, muscular adjectives in here, I can make it.

DeadlySins: yup ur an idot... I think that I properly translated that into your language.

Song of the day: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by Set It Off

Show of the day: RWBY... you know you love it

Word(s) of the day: pterodactyl porn


	11. FANSERVICE 1

DeadlySins: *gasp* What's this? She actually managed to update! I'm amazed! Though it does seem to be just a fan service chapter. Maybe next time she can write something good.

…shaddup. I would explain myself, but… I'm still trying to shorten the author's notes. I need to keep my insanity inside.

My thoughts of the day: Q:Why do animals kill other animals? A:They kill other animals to survive Q:Why do humans kill other humans? A:Because they want to. Conclusion: Humans may try to pretend that they're better than animals, but the simple truth is that humans area thousand times more vile and revolting.

Disclaimer: I own nothing other than my alternate personality, DeadlySins. I'm gonna pretend he's not just a voice in my head. WHY'D I GIVE HIM A GENDER?

* * *

 **THIS CHAPTER ISN'T A PART OF THE PLOT! IT'S PURELY HERE AS FANSERVICE FOR SASUNARU FANS! I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DEVELOPING THE PLOT, SO THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE STUCK WITH**

(Naruto POV)

When I woke up, the first thing I felt was warmth, completely enveloping me and taking over my senses. I found myself smiling at the feeling, and I didn't want to ever open my eyes. I just wanted to stay like this, with the tender warmth heating my very soul. I found myself leaning into the source of the warmth and holding it close. The pleasant sensation slowly lured me back towards the comfortable world of dreams, and I could tell I was gonna pass out any second, when a familiar voice yanked me back to reality. Damn bastard.

"Umm… dobe?"

My eyes shot open and I shifted so that his shirt was out of my face. My arms were still around him, and I realized that I'd been cuddling him. I let go and watched as he scrambled to his feet and tried to hide the rosy color dusting his cheeks. He failed. A smirk appeared on my face as I decided to take advantage of the flustered Uchiha; he was rarely ever like this, and I couldn't pass up an opportunity such as this.

(Sasuke POV)

Why can't I stop blushing?! And why'd he have to pull me _that_ close to him?

"So," I muttered, "I guess I'll just-"

"Ya know, Sasuke, if you wanted to sleep with me you could've just asked."

"W-what?!" I could physically feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.

"I have to say, I'm shocked that you would do something like that to me in my sleep."

"You're the one that pulled me into a death grip _in your sleep!_ How did you even do that?!"

"Yes, I'm sure that you were no match for a sleeping little boy."

I would've argued more if his facial expression didn't catch my eye. He was smiling, and it reached his eyes. He was so much more vibrant, and I could see joy clearly radiated off of him. Granted, that joy was a direct cause of him bothering me, but it was worth it to see him so alive for a change.

"Jeez, man. You just can't keep your eyes off of me, can you?"

"It's not like that!" I yelled. His smile grew even wider. The idiot was enjoying this.

"Sure it's not. That's why you molested me in my sleep."

I shot a glare his way, but the blush now covering my entire face probably made it less threatening. I waited until my face wasn't as heated to speak again.

"I never 'molested' you! You're just trying to bother me!"

"Really?" There was something in his voice I didn't like.

He rose to his feet and stepped towards me. Instinctively, I stepped back, only to find myself up against the tree we'd been underneath. My breathing stopped completely as Naruto pressed his body flush against mine and tilted my chin up so that I was looking at him.

(Naruto POV)

I couldn't resist. He seems affected by the thought of being with me in 'that' way, but I need to know. I backed him against the tree and tipped his chin upwards, leaning close enough to feel his breath ghosting across my face. I could see the blush reappearing on his face.

"Is it working?"

I let one of my hand travel to his upper thigh, and heard his breath hitch.

"Am I bothering you?"

He only growled in response and jerked forward, closing the distance between us, groaning into the sudden kiss. It wasn't rough, and it was more gentle treatment than I've become accustomed to, but it was over far too quickly. He pulled away and shoved passed me, running from me the second he could. I was left in his dust trail…

I shouldn't have teased him like that.

* * *

 **A REMINDER THAT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT AND IS PRETTY MUCH JUST MY BRAIN SHORTING OUT**

DeadlySins: Yeah. That and you literally couldn't actually think of anything else to entertain yourself with as you grow closer to death with every second you waste trying to prove your individuality.

…bad brain…

trying to depress me

Song of the day: No one will remember your name by Onision

Word of the day: interrobang


	12. Comfortable

Author's Note: *sigh* I've gotta be honest. There is absolutely no reason for me not updating. I've literally been spending all of my free time curled up under a blanket re-watching the Boondocks, Family Guy, and the Office. Basically, I've been killing off my brain cells.

 **Good job. You should be really, really proud of yourself.**

...

WARNINGS: I don't own Naruto or any of Kishimoto's characters, crazy author, suicide, rape, abuse, and mental disorders apparent in characters.

* * *

 _(Naruto POV)_

 _"P-please stop!" I begged as I was shoved face first against a tree. I knew what was about to happen. It had happened before, many times, and I don't even know why I still bother trying to beg them.  
_

 _"Shut up, demon." The man muttered, pinning the my wrists above my head and stabbing a kunai through them to keep them in place, effectively stopping me from properly fighting back. I let out a pained scream, and received a cut across my back from a second kunai for the outburst. "You deserve so much worse than what I'm gonna give to you." He spoke right next to my face, letting me smell the alcohol on his breath._

 _I squeezed my eyes shut and tried desperately to tear my hands free of the kunai. Unfortunately, only one of the kunai's sharp edges had gone through my wrists and firmly into the tree, and I would have to force the weapon all the way through my wrists to get free. I didn't have the strength to do that._

 _My struggling only seemed to annoy the jounin, so he forced my face up against the tree, bent me over, and yanked my pants down._

 _"N-no! Don't!" I screamed in a pleading voice. He gave me another cut._

 _"Don't make any noise and I might not punish you so harshly." His was clearly lying, but I remained silent as he undid his belt and brought out his hard member. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the pain that I knew was coming, but it didn't help. He slammed all they way into me dry and immediately started thrusting in and out. I screamed in agony, and he smirked. Now he had a reason to hurt me._

 _He brought the second kunai down on my back over and over again, leaving stab wounds on every inch of me. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, trying to silence my screams. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was getting to m_ _e._

 _When the old jounin was finally satisfied, he pulled out and drove the kunai into my back one last time before leaving me there. I had the time over the hours to slowly move my wrists_ _further away from the tree and further onto the kunai as the sun started to rise. It tore through my hands, and I'd almost pulled it entirely through my skin._

 _It had been agonizing, but I didn't have the strength to get it all done at once. Now, the wound was big enough for me to tear the kunai through and break free. I did it quickly and let out a whimper from the pain. I'd lost so much blood, and I was in so much pain. But, hey, I turned five last night. I need to learn to deal with my problems. I sobbed all the way home and pulled myself into bed, hugging my pillow close and crying into it._

 _Strange. I faintly heard the words 'Let go' being shouted at me._

* * *

My nightmares had returned to the normal memories of my times in this village, and part of me was relieved that I was no longer dreaming about what happened with Haku. The other part of me wishes I could just sleep without dreaming.

When I woke up, I immediately ran back to my apartment in search of Kuru. I really need someone to talk to right now, and he's the only one I trust. He was waiting on my bed.

"Kuruma, can I talk to you?"

"You already are, kit." He grumbled.

I walked over the bed and sat down next to him, staring down at my lap.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, somehow sounding both annoyed and concerned at the same time.

"I... I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I know that I'm being pathetic by acting this way, I know that I lost everything that you respected, I know that I need to start getting myself together now that I actually have people to better myself for, and I know that I owe this all to you. I haven't been treating you the way I should've been, and I'm sorry for that. Can you forgive me?"

He stayed silent for a minute before bursting into hysterical laughter.

"Y-you," He managed in between laughs, " think that you haven't been treating me right? haha! Kit, I appreciate the respect, but it's not necessary."

"Can I take that as a yes?" I was still being completely serious, which, I noted, wasn't like me.

"Jeez, what's wrong with you? You never apologize."

"Please just say yes."

"Okay, I forgive you. What's gotten into you?"

I shrugged and flinched away from his touch when he tried to grab my shoulder.

"Talk to me. What _happened?"_

"I just had a nightmare."

I could feel him relax behind me and I managed to refrain from flinching when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back against his chest.

"Was it about something in this village?"

I nodded. He let out a growl and buried his face in my neck.

"So that's why you're acting this way."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. I know that I should've probably been scared of being touched at the moment, but I felt safe in his arms. Maybe it's because he's not really human, I'm not afraid of him treating me the same way people do.

"I take it this dream was more graphic than your usual nightmares."

I nodded and felt him tense beneath me.

"Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded again. I'd always been okay before, and I didm't have anyone to help me then, so right now should be no problem.

"Kit, I want you to know that I meant what I said last time I saw you; I wouldn't have saved you if I only cared about what happened to me. I could tell the first time that we met that you were different from other people. You actually gave me a chance."

"I was only returning the favor." I muttered, a small smile creeping onto my face at the memory of our first meeting.

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _A seven year old Naruto dragged himself back to his apartment after another night being abused by the villagers._

 _He, as usual, dragged himself into his bed and hugged his pillow close, curling in the fetal position around it until he drifted to sleep. However, this time, his dreams wouldn't be plagued with the traumatizing events of the night. Instead, he dreamt he was outside of a giant cage. He was standing outside of the bars, and he appeared to be in some giant_ _hallway. Before he had a chance to really explore the hallway, a giant red fox's face appeared behind the bars._

 _Naruto jumped a bit, but otherwise didn't seem disturbed by the demon's repulsive appearance._

 _The fox stared right back at Naruto with a scowl on its face. This was gonna be a fun conversation._

* * *

Author's Note: Yeah, I know. Short chapter. Two flashbacks. Feel free to complain.


	13. Never Too Late

9Pretty please let me live! I'm sorry for taking soon long to update! But if you kill me, who'll write more chapters?

* * *

(Naruto POV)

 _FLASHBACK_

 _"W-who are you?"_

 _The creature just stared at him._

 _"Are... Are you here to kill me?" I honestly figured, in this odd dreamland of mine, that the villagers had sent this creature to kill me._

 _"You think that because of the way I look, I'm here to kill you? How dare you assume you're worthy of a death by my hand?!"_

 _I didn't shy away from the fox. I couldn't. "It's not because of the way you look. Honestly, you're beautiful. I just thought... since the villagers try to kill me for being a monster, maybe they sent you to finish me off. Like an angel of death." I muttered the last sentence quietly._

 _"Beautiful?"_

 _"Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you, but it's my honest opinion. I can't change my opinion to make someone happy."_

 _"Some_ one. _Some_ one _, not some_ thing..."

 _"Of course you're someone! Last time I checked, only objects are 'things'. You're not an object, and you're definitely alive. It always bothers me when people call me a thing, so I'm not gonna do it to someone else."_

 _"..."_

 _The next thing I knew, I was waking up, completely healed from the beating last night._

* * *

(Naruto POV, present)

I woke up in Kuru's arms. He was already awake, if he'd slept at all, and I honestly knew it was time to get up. It was time to move out of his arms and get ready for the day. But I didn't want to. I've never felt this warm before.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." He said with a smirk. I just nuzzled into his chest. Unfortunately, what I failed to notice was all of the rookies. In my room. While I was cuddling my century old demon friend.

"Um... Ahem." Shikamaru sounded aggrivated for some reason.

"Oh... Kuru, how long have they been here?"

"Bout an hour and a half."

"And you didn't wake me?"

"You need your beauty rest."

I looked up and noticed Sasuke glaring at Kuru. Almost like he was trying to set him on fire with his eyes. Weird.

"Anyway, what are all of you doing here? Seriously, I was comfy." I pouted while sitting up, which meant crawling out of Kuru's deathly tight hold. As soon as I sat up, he did too and pulled me into his lap. He seems to really like the touchy-feely. It's actually comforting.

"We, um..." Hinata blushed and tried to look anywhere but us.

"We're here to tell you that we're sorry." Kia explained, probably not wanting to see Hinata faint from trying to explain.

"Huh?" Came my intelligent response.

"Look, man. We're really sorry for the way we treated you. We just want you to know that we accept you for who you are. You're not the Kyuubi. There's no way you could be that monster. We just want you to know that we accept you."

I visibly flinched when he called Kuru a monster. I felt him lace our fingers together to calm me down, but... I couldn't. I couldn't just forget them calling him a monster. It's not right.

Kuru spoke for me, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to say anything.

"Thank you. I'm so glad that you're starting to accept him. I've really hated knowing he was suffering alone through everything."

"Hey, we never really learned how you know him."

"I knew his father. Though, I'm not sure I should give any details if Naruto doesn't want me to." Kuruma told a half lie. I really just want them out of here. If they have a problem with Kyuubi, they have a problem with me.

"Alright. Now, you lot might not know it, but Naruto had a really rough night, but he was haunted by a few horrifying memories of this village. He really does nee more time to rest."

They filed out, albeit reluctantly. Shikamaru muttered something about deja vu, and was promptly kicked out by Kuru.

"Kuruma... I've made my decision. I don't want to stay here. I can't be in this village. I can't get better if I'm surrounded by the one place that brought this all about."

For a few minutes there was silence. Silence that passed by agonizingly slowly.

"Where would I go if you left?"

I froze. He doesn't want to come with me, does he?

"I... I wanted you to come with me. B-but if you-u want, y-you can j-just go o-off on your o-own"

"Hell no. You can't get rid of me like that. Quit worrying, kit. I'm staying with you for a long time."

I leaned back against him. "Thank you. Seriously, I owe you so much."

"Trust me, for you, it's nothing. So when do you want to leave?"

"Uhm... As soon as possible? "

"Very specific."

"Seriously, whenever you want, we're out of here."

"Seriously?"

I glared. "No, I said it sarcastically. Of course! Whenever!"

"Okay," he said with a smirk, "how 'bout now?"

I stared at him for a second to see if he was messing with me. He clearly wasn't. My god, is it actually possible? Can I just start over with him right now?

"Can we do that?"

He nodded with a grin. I'm... I'm gonna be free. I get to be free with the one who's always been by my side.

I don't understand. How'd I get a second chance? And what'd I do that could magically make things turn out this way?

"Okay. Let's go!"

I took his hand and dragged him out the window.

* * *

I KNOW IT'S A SHORT CHAPTER BUT IT'S SETTING EVERYTHING UP FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

DON'T HATE ME


	14. T I M E S K I P

Alright, so... I'm not sure if what I've done fucked this story up or not, but... I guess if all of you stop reading and reviewing, I'll know I messed up. Feedback would be very muchly appreciated because I honestly don't know if I should rewrite this chapter, buuuuut... I can't really see much happening if I continue on where the story was before.

I don't own the characters or whatever. If I fucked up the ages, don't bother telling me. I don't care. And if anyone seems OOC, remember the you're reading some sucky whiny women with no life's fanfic, not the manga. Face it, I just described more than half of the people on this site.

* * *

 ** _6 Years Later_**

(Shikamaru POV)

A figure clad in a black cloak walked through the gates of Konoha.

The guards seemed to be trying to stop him for a minute, but as soon as they looked under the hood of the cloak, the immediately backed up. He appeared to have said something, because they both nodded blankly at him. That was strange. If a newcomer entered Konoha, they always had to have a basic background check and go through a short interview to make sure they weren't a threat. They simply let this man walk through.

I know that those guards are trustworthy. They will follow their orders till the day they die. The only reason they wouldn't go through the background check on someone would be if it was someone returning from a mission or trip, and even then, if they were gone for an extensive amount of time, they'd have to go through a screening to ensure their loyalty to the village.

And the last solo mission was assigned yesterday, so there's no way their returning today.

So who the hell is this guy?

* * *

(Naruto POV)

It's just the way I remembered it. The same beautiful place with the same repulsive people. You could ask how I know that they're repulsive when I've just returned, but I can only say this because I recognize all of their faces. Everyone who hurt me back then is still here. They still smile and carry on with their lives, happily forgetting I ever existed.

I grit my teeth under my cloak. These people are so lucky I love this place, or I wouldn't be here.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Fuck. I know that voice.

"Sir! I know you hear me. I need to talk to you."

I slowly turned around to see Ino. I can't be caught this soon. They can't know it's me. I was just going to come in, do what I have to do without being noticed, and get out. No questions asked, no one to know I ever came back. I turned away from her, knowing full well she'd still make me turn back, but giving myself the opportunity to put on a slight henge. I couldn't change my appearance drastically or else she'd be able to sense it for sure, but I could at least cover my whiskers and change my hair to a blackish color.

She stormed over to me and spun me around. I let my hood fall off from the force of it, and she gasped at my appearance before blushing and avoiding eye contact.

"I'm sorry about that. A friend of mine noticed that the guards let you in without any sort of questioning, and he got suspicious. He had this crazy theory that you were this friend we used to have... We should've known better." The last part was whispered. "Anyway, why did the guards just let you in?"

"Oh, I have an urgent message to deliver to the village. There are code words that tell the guards to let someone through. Pardon me for not wanting to tell you what they are, but I've just met you. If you want, you can get the guards to verify this story."

"N-no. I understand. Hey, um, if you're not busy with this urgent message the entire time you're here, I could show you around."

"No, thank you. It's not that I don't want to spend my time with you, but I honestly was told to just deliver the message and then get out." I really don't want to have to deal with this. Please just leave me alone, Ino.

"Oh, alright. But I can at least walk you to the hokage tower so you can deliver your message. Maybe on the way there, I can convince you to stay longer." She winked at me.

nOPe! Not happening. Never happening. But if she walks me over to the homage tower, which is surrounded by anbu, they'll definitely see through the henge. Even if I magically find a way to stop them from noticing it, they'll still be able to tell I'm concealing all of my chakra, and then they'll see me as a threat. I can't let her take me anywhere near there. Granted, there are already a few anbu watching us, but they're way less likely to notice the henge. But if I'm surrounded by literally hundreds of the most elite anbu? I'm screwed.

I sighed loudly. "You're not gonna give up on me staying, are you?"

"Nope!" She declared with a giggle.

"Fine. I'll stay for two weeks."

She practically squealed. "Really? Yay! I have to introduce you to all of my friends!"

I internally rolled my eyes. She literally only cares because she thinks I'm hot.

(Ino POV)

Oh. My. God. This man is gorgeous! When he first pulled the cloak down... Hot damn!

His skin is lightly tanned, which goes amazingly with his ink black hair. He's got those beautiful, deep blue eyes that I could feel myself positively drowning in! My god, there's something so tragic in his eyes... I can't put my finger on it, but there's just so much raw emotion with him.

I don't know why I'm so hell bent on making him stay, but some part of me is screaming that I can't let him leave.

"I guess I should wait until the end of the two weeks to give the message. It wouldn't be a good thing if word got out that I slacked off for two weeks after completing a mission." He said with a smile.

My god, that smile. He's angelic with that smile.

"That's great! I can introduce you to everyone now, then! Oh, hey, I never got your name, did I?"

"And I never got yours."

"I'm Ino. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Hisashi. The pleasure is all mine."

"Huh. Your name means 'always'? That's so pretty."

He smiled at me again, but this time it was a sad smile. It was positively heart breaking. "It's not my actual name, but it's the only one I go by anymore."

"Why?" I felt bad for prying, but he was drawing me in.

"It's a reminder of someone I used to know."

I could tell that I was upsetting him, so I let the subject drop.

"So, were we going to meet these friends of yours?"

"Oh. Right." I led the way to where I knew Sakura and Sasuke would be.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

Every single day for an hour, Sakura and I go to Team 7's old training ground. Sometimes Kakashi would join us, sometimes we'd actually train here, but for the most part, we spent this hour in silence. We waited here for an hour in remembrance of our old teammate.

We all knew it was unhealthy, that clinging onto the past wouldn't do anything to help us, but there wasn't much else we could do.

You can't just forget someone as amazing as he was.

When the hour was almost up, a loud voice cut through the silence.

"Hey! Sakura, Sasuke! Kakashi!" It was Ino. What the hell did she think she was doing? She knows how much this matters to me, why would she interrupt it?

I turned to glare at here and felt the others do the same. I stopped glaring, though, when I saw someone next to her. I've never seen this guy before, but something about him seems familiar.

"Whoa, are we interrupting something? Sorry. Ino wanted to introduce me to her friends. We didn't mean to intrude."

Sakura immediately marched over to him.

"We _were_ in the middle of something, and you _did_ intrude. I don't know what Ino was thinking when she brought you here right now knowing full well what was going on, but I guess she's not used to thinking, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise.

"Hey! Calm down! From what I could see, us interrupting didn't hurt anyone, so what's your problem with it? And I get that we upset you, but there's no need to attack her like that." The stranger seemed pretty calm despite the fact that he was lecturing her... almost like he was used to behavior like this.

"For your information, we lost someone very precious to us, and we come here everyday to remember him! He was an amazing person, and I'm going to overreact when someone messes with this time!"

He stayed at her for a second, and I swear I could feel waves of anger rolling off of him.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Every day for six years!"

He looked up at her blankly. "And your friend would've wanted this?"

Sakura's silence said everything, so I chimed in to try to give our actions a point.

"This friend of ours... he never looked after himself first. All he ever did was try to make other people happy. This hour is our promise to never forget him."

He didn't have any response to that, but I could tell that his anger hadn't subsided. What could've made him so angry in the first place?

"Mah, I thought we were going to get an introduction!" Kakashi's voice cut through the silence.

"Right. Hisashi, that pink haired girl is Sakura, the guy in the mask is Kakashi, and the dark haired one is Sasuke. Guys, this is Hisashi. He's here on a mission."

Hisashi. It means always. It's funny how with that one name, I automatically forgive this man. It's because the words forever and always never cease to give me some bitter twisted amusement. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing can always be. Those words are lies to comfort the weak.

"Alright. So, Sasuke, I take it this friend you lost was your teammate. Did he die on a mission?" He asked it so calmly I had to answer him.

"No. He's not dead, just gone."

"I see. Well, as pleasant and not-at-all-tense as this has been, I think I should get going. The trip here wasn't exactly short and easy*, and I need to get some rest. Thank you for introducing me to them, Ino! If you want, you can show me around a bit more tomorrow."

"Alright, Hisashi. Thank you for agreeing to stay longer!"

He smiled at her over his shoulder as he walked off, and I couldn't stop the corner of my lips from twitching upward. His smile was just as infectious as Naruto's...

* * *

Queen: Alright, to prevent you all rom killing me, I'll dodge the topic of me taking an eternity and a half to update and instead tell you about my author name! I go by queenofallthingsrandom because I thought QueerQueen would frighten readers into running away from me.

*whispers* but what you don't know is that you can't escape from me.


	15. Chapter 15

Hello, reader! I'm unstable as fuck as I write this, so pardon my lifeless writing, alright? Fuck, the sun's gonna rise soon. Haha... Gimme a minute to ramble my fucking hypocrisy to strangers...

I'm terrified of death but bored of life. At some point, the boredom and desperation is going to override my fear and I'll end everything. I'll leave that as a short explanation as to why my updating will randomly stop forever in the future. Alright! Let's you and me drown in fiction to not think about reality, shall we?

* * *

(Naruto POV)

I guess it's not that bad. I was planning on camping out somewhere for two weeks, anyway. I know that I won't be able to meet him for at least two weeks, and nothing I would do until then would be worth it, so this can be their second chance.

I'll see if they've changed since I left. If they have, I might consider moving back here. If not, I'll just give them my warning and be off on my own again.

Seriously, though, meeting Sakura and Sasuke again was terrible. She didn't even used to like me, and now she's screeching at a random stranger over me. Why would she do that? She definitely could not have grown to like me without me having been here. Did she just want to look good? I don't know. And Sasuke... He just... They were throwing away their lives in remembrance of someone who left of their own free will with a smile on their face, and Sasuke seemed better for it. He actually talked to us, and he seemed to have developed emotions enough to miss an old teammate and defend a remaining one.

I wonder if he would stay that way if I came back.

* * *

(Kakashi POV)

As I jumped through the trees in the forest of death, I couldn't keep my thoughts from straying from that kid Ino had with her. That's Naruto.

I know it is, damn it.

Did he really think no one would recognize him? I could never forget his eyes. Jesus, how the light in them's change. And the way he reacted when he found out we'd been mourning him and completely disregarding that he was still living was agonizing. It was a silent accusation of me from the universe. I've failed someone yet again.

This is one of few times in my life that I'm at a complete loss as to how to move forward. How am I supposed to move forward now that I failed him _again?_

I always tell myself that I have a simple goal of keeping myself alive to be useful to those I care about, but... What then? When I fail, how am I supposed to move forward?

I feel myself being crushed by the question and suddenly my breathing is heavy. My eyes start to sting from unshed tears as memories flood back. Rin's death, me helplessly trying to save Obito, losing Minato... Losing Naruto... I feel my lungs burn as my body tries to force oxygen into them. All I can do is lose them forever. I can never help them, I'm not some hero, I'll never be able to be useful to them. In this story all I can do is fall apart. My vision starts to get dark and I feel light headed. The panic fades as I feel myself slip from consciousness. The last thing I see is the rapidly approaching grass below me as I fall from a lethal height.

Fuck...

-linebreak-Iclearlydon'tgiveanyfucks-asupercomputercalculatingforeternitycouldn'tbegintoapproachthenumberoffucksIdon'tgive-

I woke up in my room, in my bed, nowhere near where I passed out. Someone saw me and helped me, then. Haha... I could've just died from falling out of a tree. After all the fucked up shit I've dealt with, that would've been hysterical. I wonder who it was... Someone who knew where I lived, obviously. Or maybe someone caught me and announced to the village that I needed to be taken home because I almost face death by tree.

I could claim to have been distracted by my book... I can work with that.

I sensed a chakra signature in my apartment and groaned at it. Fuuuuck

"Aah, so you're awake!" He said enthusiastically.

I looked up at him with my usual bored look. "So it would seem."

"I knew nothing could keep my youthful rival down for long!" He flashed me a blinding smile. I groaned.

"Mind telling me what happened? I can't seem to remember." I semi-lied. What? I can't remember what happened after I blacked out.

There was a moment of silence, and I could tell he knew I wasn't telling the truth. No way I would take it back, though. "I see. Well, you must have passed out during training, because I found you on the forest floor breathing heavily."

That fall would've killed me. Guy had to have seen me fall. He probably even saw me hyperventilating. Damn it, how did I not see him? I mean, even for someone blacking out, I still should've sensed him with my training.

"Mah, that's probably what happened." I waved it off as nothing while my curiosity ate at me. "Guess I should be good to go now. Maybe a little sore from all that training, but if I'm awake, I must be ready to get up."

He got uncharacteristically quiet and muttered a simple ''Okay." before heading towards the door. I stood up and followed him.

"No need to tell anyone about this little incident, ri-"

"If you need to talk, Kakashi, you can come to me anytime. Please just know that." He muttered, rushing out. I sighed.

I suppose it could've gone worse... I think...

* * *

(Naruto POV)

 ** _We sat before Nagato and Konan, clinging to whatever emotionless behavior we could muster. This deal wasn't something I wanted. I was heartbroken about this deal, and I could tell Kuruma wasn't ecstatic about it either, but... This was how the world works. If you want allies, you have to have something to offer, some advantage to hand to them, something that can make them trust you._**

 ** _"Make no mistake, Kyuubi," I flinched at that. I'd grown to hate it when people called him that. "this isn't, in any form, an alliance. We won't help you unless it benefits us, and we will expect the opposite in return. If we suspect you've betrayed us or the ideals we've formed, we won't hesitate to eliminate you."_**

 ** _"Understood."_**

 ** _They turned to me, waiting for my response. "I..."_**

 ** _Kuruma looked at me somewhat pleadingly. This agreement was exactly what we need . The perfect opportunity to find a new home. But I have a feeling... this can all go a lot smoother with a small amount of resistance from me._**

 ** _"No."_**

 ** _Everyone in the room spontaneously tried to glare me into agreeing.  
_**

 ** _"We have no problems with you refusing. If we have to, we can make the contract with only the Kyuubi. By force, if necessary."_**

 ** _"Really now? We'd both fight that with everything we have, as mad as he is at me right now. We refuse to be separated. And I refuse to listen to your deal the way it is. You could sick the entire organization on us for this, and you'd probably eventually kill me and, if you get lucky, catch Kuruma. Bu how many members do you think we could take down in the process? If you truly seek peace, you'll hear me out instead of promoting bloodshed over such a small ordeal."_**

 ** _Konan and Nagato shared a look, seemingly communicating, before turning to me._**

 ** _"Say what you must."_**

 ** _"Thank you. I wholeheartedly believe that peace is a perfectly reasonable and admirable thing to chase after. But despite the result you get, you can't sacrifice the idea behind the ideal state through the means of achieving that goal! Death and destruction don't make good companions to peace and life. I propose we work together in finding a better solution to this. Kuruma and I would gladly strategize with you and help through whatever means necessary to infiltrate and seize control of all nations on the journey to creating a better world. You'll still have your revenge on Konoha, though I hope you know it won't make you feel differently, but it will be through less hypocritical means. Rather than punish them by treating them the way they treated you, prove your superiority and end the cycle."_**

 ** _Kuruma's indifference snapped as he began practically begging them to ignore me. "I'm sorry, he's just been really stressed lately. Please disregard him. We both understand the outline of our contract and are more than happy to begin the sealing process whenever you're ready."_**

 ** _"I most certainly will not begin the sealing or sign the contract until we can agree on this." The smile I had plastered on my face basically killed Kuruma. We both stared at Nagato, waiting for his response. Conan seemed just as concerned about his response as Kuruma, albeit with less groveling._**

 ** _He stared me right in the eyes, seemingly trying to start a staring contest... I assume. I straightened my posture and held his gaze, refusing to let down._**

 ** _Nagano sighed and looked away. "We'll incorporate some changes in the contract. You aren't going to be our partners, you're going to be advisors. I won't do anything more than that."_**

 ** _I flashed him a bright smile that he tried and failed to ignore._**

 ** _"But-" She was cut off when he put his hand up._**

 ** _"We'll discuss this later, Konan."_**

I woke up from my flashback/dream the second I felt a chakra signature. There was a loud knock at my door. Good thing I worked more on my disguise.

"Hisashi!"


	16. Fuuuuckkk meee

A/N: FUUUUUUUCCKKK MEEEE

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

Tonight's the usual meet up with all of the rookies(and friends sigh). Ino told us that we all need to be there because she wants to introduce us Hisashi. Part of me wants to bail, but I know that Sakura and Ino would just track me down and drag me there anyway. They insist that I became too antisocial after Naruto left.

So this is why, instead of being at home or spending my time training, I'm in the middle of a barbecue place with Choji, Sakura, Shikamaru(even he was here, the lazy ass), Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, TenTen, and Lee. The only people missing were Ino and her guest. No one really seemed to care, though,

"Why can't I order yet?" Choji whined.

"It'd be rude! Not everyone is here yet!" Sakura insisted.

"I bet she's getting it on with that friend of hers." Kiba declared, earning a glare from Sakura and TenTen.

"GUYS!" Ino practically screamed at them. Ah, there's the woman of the hour. Hisashi was next to her, looking amused, much to Ino's embarrassment. Said blonde walked over and promptly smacked Kiba.

"We were not... Ugh... Doing _that_!"

"What? Fucking? You know I'm talking about fucking, right?" She smacked him again.

"Hisashi was just getting ready! Jesus..."

TenTen and Hinata visibly ogled him, along with Kiba and I, albeit more subtly than the other three. He went for a casual look: a tight midnight blue t-shirt underneath a completely unbuttoned black long sleeve with black jeans. It showcased his figure well. With a fashion sense like that, he's gotta be gay.

"Hello, friends of Ino! And hello again, pinkette and pale kid." He waved to me and Sakura. My eye twitched. Pale kid?

Neji smirked at that. "So you've met Sasuke?"

"Yup! Though it was pretty tense... because I found out I won't be getting the chance to meet their whole team." He visibly observed everyone as they responded with silence and guilty looks. Well... everyone but Shikamaru. He sat there boredly, as usual. Out of all of us, he never got torn up about it. Shikamaru always felt like we had no place to be this upset about it, but... nevertheless, I couldn't stop myself from feeling the hurt and loss I did when he left me.

"Well this party died." The lazy genius muttered.

"Did you not know their team member?"

He snorted. "Just because I don't mourn his decision to choose where to go with his life means I didn't know him?"

Hisashi smiled at that. "Your opinion is refreshing. What's your name?"

"Like you don't know." He muttered. "Shikamaru."

"Hey dude! I'm Kiba, and this shy bundle of life is Hinata!" the dog boy said, ruffling her hair.

"n-nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you both, too! If Ino hasn't already told everyone about little old me, I'm Hisashi."

"Nah, man, she's basically told the whole village about you. Dude... She wants the d-" Ino punched him out of his chair.

"ahem," she murmured, blushing, "anyway, the girl with her hair up is TenTen, the guy with the glasses is Shino, the boy with the swirls on his cheeks is Choji, and the long haired one is Neji."

"huh... So..."

"We all know each other from either the academy or the chuunin exams."

"Cool, but is Neji a guy or a girl?"

It was my turn to smirk. "Oh, Neji's a girl. I know she can look manly, and she resents that, but she's still a powerful woman."

"Gotcha."

"I'm not," he seethed through clenched teeth, "a girl."

Hisashi laughed. "I know. God, I could tell. I just wanted to see what you would do."

Kiba(recovered from Ino's attack) laughed with him. Those two hit it off and Hisashi sat between Shikamaru and Kiba. For the rest of the night, Hisashi made everyone(aside form Shina and Sakura) laugh a little, eerily reminding us of the past. Eventually, we got onto the topic of him leaving, and both Ino and Kiba jumped to beg him to stay.

"We can get rid of Sasuke, if he's the problem!"

"I'll stop Ino from trying to get into your pants if you stay!"

"I'll stop Kiba from trying to get into your pants!" Ino declared in response. Said boy blushed. "I... That's not..."

"You know it's true." I pitched in. He was openly bi, but I doubt he wanted Hisashi to know.

"Fine. Like you can stop me, Ino." he smirked.

"She can't but I can. Sorry, boys," He winked at me, "but I don't do one night stands. And since I'm not staying, that's all it would be."

Tch. Like I'd want that. There's only one person I ever wanted, and he's gone. sorry, Hisashi.

(Naruto POV)

What the hell did this turn into? It was just, 'Hey, wanna go hang out with some friends of mine?', not 'hey, let's all try to fuck the new guy'. *sigh* Puberty and hormones, I guess. At least there's still Shikamaru. He knew it was me right away, and he sure as hell let me know. I just hope no one else here picked up on it when he said it.

'like you don't know'

The implications are clear. And he seems to be the only one who dealt with me leaving rationally. *sigh* I guess it takes a genius, then.

As nice as this has been, I only have a week and a half left here before it's safe to leave. And then I have to leave... again...

I should've gone to the safe house... Ah, well. It's too late now, anyway. It's best if I lay low and try not to get attached.

As I walked home, I tried my best to ignore the chakra signature I felt behind me. I knew he was there, I just refused to do anything. Confrontation would only make things more complicated. All I can do is pray I get to my hotel room before he decides to talk to me.

I made it into the hotel safely, and I almost thought he was just making sure I got there safely before, right as I was about to unlock my room door, he came up behind me. I made no move to stop him as he grabbed me by my shoulder, turned me around, and slammed me into the door.

"Why the hell did you come back if you're just gonna leave again? Were you checking on us?"

"Shika-"

"Or are you spying us now? Because I honestly can't tell, and that terrifies me."

His grip on my shoulder became painful, but I still didn't use him away. He had every right to be cautious.

"Well? Answer me!"

I honestly have no idea how to go about this. I can't lie to him. Even if I could force myself to, he would see through it.

"Dammit, Naruto... Answer me..." His eyes were watering.

I hugged him as best as I could with his bruising grip on me. "I'm here to warn Konoha. Something's coming... That you can't fight. That's all I'm here for. After that, I'm leaving again."

I pulled back to see something break in his eyes before he regained his composure. Shikamaru let go of my shoulder and backed away. "I understand. I take it you haven't delivered the warning yet because you know you can't stay once you do."

I nodded, tying to brush away the guilt at his suddenly formal tone. "It'll set everything in motion. Once the village knows, whether they believe me or not, I can't stay. If they think it's false information, they'll kick me out or try to execute me. If they believe me, I'll have to leave before they move to counter strike in order to avoid being swept up in it. And I need to lay low for a little while for reasons I don't want to disclose right now."

His movements were stiff, almost robotic as he nodded. "I see. Whenever you're ready, I can get you into the hokage tower. I assume it'll be at the end of the two weeks you need to lay low for. After that, I'll help you leave. What did you do to let the guards let you in? If you showed your face, I would've been told by now."

"Genjutsu."

He looked disappointed in me for a minute, but he said nothing.

"Yeah... Shikamaru, I'm sorry that I left..."

"Don't bother. Just know that if you betray Konoha, you won't be a priority of mine."

My eyes flashed with barely concealed hurt, and I could see him on the verge of apologizing before he forced himself to turn away from me and walk away. Ha... as much as it pains me to know I just killed whatever emotions he harbored for me, I'm glad he's not putting me on a pedestal and putting me above everything else. It's about time someone around here loved themselves first...


	17. Just click the damn chapter, fuuuckerr

(Shikamaru POV)

Dammit...

Outside of his hotel, I lit a cigarette with shaky hands and tried not to let tears fall. He's leaving me again.

Hehe.. It seems for all my unconditional understanding and respect for him, I've made a hypocrite of myself in claiming we should respect his decision and then wanting to hold him here forever against his will. Part of me wants more than anything to reveal his identity to the council. They'd take him into custody and keep such a close watch on him he'd never be able to leave me again.

But he wouldn't want that. And I know he's incapable of resenting me for it. He'd still care about me for all he's worth... just not in the way I want him to. And I'd have gone out of my way to stop him from doing what he wanted to do with his life.

I sighed. Fuck. I can't deal with this right now.

What can he be warning them about? A threat, I'm assuming, but not many people would dare to threaten our village. When the sand village tried, and used their jinchuuriki in the process, the tailed beast escaped and had to be resealed into one of our ninja. The old container died, and the attackers from the sand and sound villages retreated while we were sealing it, thinking we would be wiped out by it. The third died sealing it and that snake got away to plot more.

Since then, no one's touched us. Now that we have a jinchuuriki again, along with a council who listens to me(A/N HINT HINT WHOS THE NEW HOKAGE) and integrates new ideas into our system, we're stronger than ever before.

Honestly, the only thing I'm worried about is the trust inside the village. I managed to make changes in the Ninja Academy's method's as well as the standard for becoming a genin and staying a ninja, but that made some people question the competence of their government. I'm worried there will be a riot, and I need a solution to that.

But who would be foolish enough to attack us when we've built this image of power? We managed to build an alliance with the sand after they found out their kazekage had been murdered and they'd been acting under false orders. An alliance would've seemed far fetched after they attacked us, but I convinced the council that they didn't realize who they were following into battle, and they had no reason to believe us an ally. Besides, we were responsible for the death of their true leader's son.

When they challenge us, they challenge the sand village. We're a powerful enemy together.

The only thing I can think of, as I insinuated to myself earlier, is an internal power struggle. If there were to be a sort of civil war in Konoha, the sand village wouldn't intervene.

Fuck, I'm scatterbrained right now. I held the nicotine in my lungs for a minute before breathing it out, loving the way it felt on my lungs.

As I walked back to my apartment, I couldn't stop myself form picturing the hurt look on Naruto's face before... Well, not Naruto. _Hisashi._ I mentally scowled. I get that he would be detained if the council knew, but why wouldn't he tell me? Did he assume I'd figure it out on my own or was that an unplanned inconvenience?

Why can't I tell if he cares about me or not?

* * *

(Naruto POV)

 **"Ngh, Kuruma!" I screamed out, unable to keep myself quiet as the** ** _unbe-fucking-lievable assault continued._**

 ** _He silenced me with a kiss and continued thrusting forward._**

 ** _"Do you know how irresistibly fuckable you look?" He groaned, tugging lightly at my hair. The redhead bit down on my shoulder, canines breaking my skin. I moaned out his name again, yanking him up for a slightly bloody kiss._**

 ** _-we'llsay2fucking*coughcough*literally*cough*hourslater-_**

 ** _He pulled out, earning a whimper from me and lay next to me, pulling me on top of him._**

 ** _"And now," He managed in between heavy breaths. Damn, we were both trying to remember how to breath, "I hope you'll remember not to try anything like that again."_**

 ** _"I will... but we got the contract we wanted with them! And I know it could've gotten us killed. I'm sorry for that, but you punished me enough for it."_**

 ** _He smirked. "Damn right I did."_**

 ** _I fell asleep soon after that, muttering something like "you're too cocky... literally" and giggling at his '_** ** _seriously?' stare._**

I sighed as I woke up. Those are the times I can never have again. Though in all fairness, I doubt I'll last much longer without him anyway.

Ah, well. Off to train. Kuruma wouldn't have wanted me to slack off, even though I could still wipe the floor with everyone even if I did. I mean, after all the training he put me through, fighting anyone but him is like using a flaming sword to cut through butter. And I bet being in bed with anyone else will be just as uneventfully boring.

Ha. Guess there's no harm in putting it to the test some time.

* * *

A/N I wrote all three of these chapters at once. I didn't prewrite them and carefully plan out the plot and the way you'd see it all because I don't care about this or you. That being said, I love you! Now, unrelated to my love, please review, follow favorite, subscribe(wut), tweet me(tf), repost this(why), blah blah blah etc etc etc fuck you too etc etc whatever I can say to get you to validate my existence with your attention and time etc blah blah blah nonsense and insecurity please pay attention to and act like you love me


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